A couple of seduction basics

I will cover a couple of subjects that I hinted at in Righteous Seduction, but didn’t get a chance to go into very much depth on then.

Categories of receptiveness

It’s fairly obvious that your chances with someone depend on what she thinks of you.  Still, we can add clarity by classifying this into three groups:

  • Not receptive.  This can result from several factors.  For a few examples, she might be in a committed relationship, she might be having a bad day, she might not like your looks, you might have blown your approach (perhaps by being too direct), etc.  Either way, first impressions count for a lot, and unfortunately things didn’t go so well.  There’s not much you can do about this, at least not now.  Eject as gracefully as possible.  This will reduce your chances of her gossiping about you, which might ruin your chances with someone else.
  • Maybe receptive.  She hasn’t made up her mind up about you yet.  This is where having good game comes into play.  Basically you’ll have to be interesting, cool, and smooth.  Most likely, she’ll make up her mind about you with a little time.  If she ends up not liking you, try to end it on a high note at least.  The same applies if things are going nowhere; be on guard if the conversation starts dragging.
  • Receptive.  You’re pretty much golden.  The only way things won’t work out is if you screw it up, for instance by acting too desperate or saying something dweeby.  Keep the interest level up, but beware of overgaming.

Knowing where you stand, of course, is the big question.  We can’t read minds, and you’re not always going to get honest, direct communication about what she thinks of you.  For instance, “I’m just not interested in you” is pretty clear, but something a little snarky might be a Shit Test; those are annoying, but are actually an opportunity if you know how to handle them.  IOIs and IODs (indicators of interest or disinterest) will be your guide.  Actually, I wrote a good bit about that in Righteous Seduction (as well as Shit Tests).  The biggest tells are how much she participates in the conversation and how much she looks at you.  Spirited participation and gazing into your eyes are a good sign.  Monosyllabic replies and looking away are a bad sign.  Stammering and giggles and looking down might be shyness, which will be recoverable if you can get her to feel more comfortable.

Finally, give each interaction a couple of minutes (unless it ends in a Blowout, of course).  If things don’t head in a positive direction, then don’t run away screaming or sulk in a corner for the rest of the night.  If you get a string of bad reactions, or exhaust 25% of your possibilities, it’s your sign to find a friendlier venue.  Until then, see where things go.

The Law of Least Effort

There are countless ways to be more successful with women.  Suppose I was advising someone on how to improve his social life.  Let’s assume this is someone who needs a lot of work.  Some of the steps (far from an exhaustive list) might be:

  • Improve your hygiene
  • Start dressing well
  • Cut out the junk food
  • Pull yourself away from the computer and socialize more
  • Start working out
  • Overcome your shyness
  • Read up on basic seduction principles
  • Fix your conversational skills
  • Develop some interesting hobbies
  • Study advanced seduction principles
  • Develop your career
  • Move out of Mom’s basement
  • Get a decent vehicle

Note that these are categorized from the easiest to the hardest.  Many are important but can’t be completed overnight.  Start now, but don’t give up when you don’t get immediate results.  Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Taking the last item as an example, there are some people who believe that if only they get a motorcycle, hot rod, monster truck, or whatever, it will make them a chick magnet.  If you scrape together all your money for a down payment, then that won’t do anything for your social life (while leaving you massively in debt) if you don’t have the fundamentals right (or don’t take showers).  If you’re not working on other things because you don’t own a hot rod yet, then you’re just spinning your wheels.  That being said, a late model rice burner isn’t a Mercedes, but it’s going to be better than that Bondo-colored 1989 Yugo.  If even that’s out of the question, never fear; you’re taking the bus because you believe in being frugal and saving the environment, aren’t you?  Seriously, don’t even think about upgrading your ride until you have everything easier taken care of and you can easily afford it.

Likewise, if you read up on pickup lines or whatever, that’s not going to do very much if you dress like a slob and don’t take showers.  Don’t put the cart in front of the horse!  If you memorize a bunch of Routines to break the ice, but can’t hold an interesting conversation, then you’re going to freeze up when you run out of material or the conversation goes in an unexpected direction.  That’s why “fix your conversational skills” comes before all that.  Also, if you’re endlessly debating seduction theory online but you never go to social events, that will get you nowhere fast.  Don’t do any of that!  The Law of Least Effort keeps you on track by getting you the best results the fastest.

Another example of “least effort” efficiency is the following:

  • Set up some good profiles on free dating sites
  • Attend more social events
  • Start writing to people on the dating sites
  • Go clubbing
  • Convince someone to stop stringing you along

Note that this is also arranged from least to most difficult.  Setting up a good dating site profile will take two hours, tops.  Men get far less mail than women, but I’ve had positive results (if you know what I mean) by receiving messages out of the blue.  You can write to people on the sites, though you’ll be missing out if you’re not entering the real-world social arena.

Once you’ve cast your net online, then get into the real world.  Low-pressure social events are easier than the club scene, which is why you shouldn’t neglect them.

As for the last item, consider that one a back-burner effort at the very best.  You’re wasting your time if you’re putting your hopes all on one person, especially if she isn’t clearly showing interest.  A six month seduction plan is a losing proposition; avoid the ONEitis disease.  If you have an active social life, this might actually convince your special someone that she’s missing out on you.  In Righteous Seduction, I wrote at great length on escaping the Friend Zone, but still I’ll tell you that you’re better off pursuing other options.

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A couple of seduction basics

Distributism, The Unknown Ideal

Wealth is generated de novo when someone does, produces, or creates something of value.  It is just that they are rewarded in proportion to the value produced.  A society is most healthy when hard work and creativity are valued and rewarded appropriately.  It is detrimental when the doers and producers are paid the least, and vast sums of money can be made in non-creative professions.

Competing economic systems

The market economy goes back to ancient times.  For ages, industry was done by individual blacksmiths, potters, cobblers, carpenters, brewers, bricklayers, and so forth.  They would own their shops and equipment, eventually passing them down to their sons, along with the knowledge of their trade. As sole proprietors, they only had to answer to themselves.  If they wanted to work longer hours to make some more money, that was all up to them.  If they wanted to take a day off on a moment’s notice, they could if they felt like it.  In the Middle Ages, the artisans and craftsmen formed guilds, which were based on mutual cooperation rather than everyone trying to drive each other out of business.

Capitalism developed from the market economy during the Renaissance when money was pooled for investment.  This allowed large businesses to be built quickly, but it also separated ownership from labor.  During the Industrial Revolution, capitalism flourished as new technologies were developed and fortunes were made from a proverbial shoestring by people in the right place at the right time.  Production moved from small, individually owned shops to factories.

The partial ownership of businesses became instruments that could be bought and sold.  From all this, we got stocks, futures, options, derivatives, and so forth.  This led to the business cycle of alternating expansion and recession.  Another major drawback is that unregulated capitalism leads to monopolies and vast extremes of wealth.  This is best exemplified by the Industrial Age sweatshops (ongoing in the Third World) where the workers toiled every day for twelve hours or more in grubby, unsafe conditions and the boss got to live like a king.  Even with today’s regulated capitalism, there are still CEOs who become insanely wealthy while paying their workers peanuts.  Further, many are quite happy to export jobs to wherever they can pay the fewest possible peanuts, regardless of what sacrifices will be made in the product’s quality.

One reaction to Industrial Age exploitation was socialism, beginning as theory in the 1800s when the sweatshops were at their worst..  That had problems of its own.  One of them was stagnation.  Workers made the minimum effort to reach quota, caring little about quality.  Simply put, “Work hard and one day you may be rich” is a better motive than “Work hard for the good of the country”.  Inefficiency is another problem, especially with failures of central planning leading to shortages and rationing.  Everyone worked for the government, which was as soulless and uncaring as any huge corporation.  The Communist version of socialism was particularly despotic.  Social stratification still existed, with Party members lording it over the rest of the public.  Rather than redistributing wealth, they redistributed poverty.  With unrestrained capitalism, workers are at the mercy of the monopolies; with socialism, government becomes the monopoly of all.

There is a third way.  Distributism is an alternative to the means of production largely being in the hands of enormous corporations, or run by a faceless socialist bureaucracy.  The name derives from the goal of distributing the means of production – from which wealth follows – within the public as widely as possible.  The main focus is promoting individually-owned small businesses.  Ideally, they’ll own the shop, tools, equipment, and vehicles, preferably avoiding debt where possible.  Implementing this isn’t fully realizable; Mom-and-Pop groceries are possible, and workers could form a cooperative to buy or set up a factory, but individually-owned airlines or oil refineries aren’t practical.  Although Distributism can’t be implemented completely, much progress could be made.  Realistically, there will be a place for large corporations, but small businesses should have a greater role.  One benefit among many is that they provide a valuable bright spot in the economy whenever a downturn in Wall Street happens.

This idea is likely to meet some resistance.  Many today have great faith in the system as it is.  (Getting one’s job “offshored” to India while the CEO gives himself a million dollar bonus is likely to shake even the most devout Libertarian’s faith!  If you have a family to support, that’s really not cute.)  Let us remember that not every assistant VP is John Galt!  Also, capitalism isn’t identical with plutocracy; excesses and corruption are the problem.  The free market can be used constructively, or abused.  Adam Smith made a very good case for the “invisible hand” theory.  However, things such as monopolies and price fixing remove the competition that make the supply and demand system work properly.  Another example of corruption is interlocking directorates, when a group of CEOs on each other’s Board of Directors vote huge compensation packages for their friends.  This conflict of interest cheats the stockholders.  Further, large corporations have inefficiencies that small businesses don’t.  For instance, they must pay for several layers of management swimming in gravy, as well as an HR department to police speech, enforce hiring quotas, and prevent workers from flirting with each other.  All that is extra overhead.

Problems with the current system

Front-line workers do the production, be it in a kitchen, an assembly line, coal mine, etc.  Management and other departments have their roles, but are one step away from production.  The stockholders are two steps away.  The brokerages are further distant yet.  Companies that write derivatives contracts on the underlying stock, such as options or credit default swaps, are even further away.  So are huge banks providing leverage for buyouts and mergers.  Everyone makes every last cent of their money from what the workers produce, but take a wild guess who gets paid the least!  During tough economic times, the people doing the real work suffer the most from layoffs and “offshoring”.  The parties furthest from production get bailed out with tax money because they’re “too big to fail”.

When labor and ownership are separated, the workers are considered disposable units.  An executive moving a factory to an overseas sweatshop is an example.  This is no abstract matter as some would have you believe; lives are disrupted, especially if it’s difficult or impossible to get comparable employment elsewhere.  This, along with corruption, drives income inequality.  When it goes on long enough, a formerly prosperous country will approach Third World conditions where vast extremes of wealth prevail.

Worse, vast power and influence are often detrimental.  For just one example, some wealthy CEOs use their influence in the government and access to the media to push globalism.  Big business routinely uses lobbies and “campaign contributions” to seek preferential treatment by big government, and neither are looking out for ordinary workers.

The flow of money is also important.  When you spend your money, would you prefer the profits to go to some large corporation elsewhere, or continue to circulate within your community?  Few people consider this, but the effects of countless transactions over time will have a great effect.  This is one reason why “flyover country” is in the economic doldrums, but California and New York are very wealthy.  Another effect is that chain stores disrupt local businesses.  For example, a certain big box store used to make a point of selling only American-made products; now they’re importing 10% of China’s exports.  Their change in business plan was surely bad news for many American manufacturers.

Finally, the more people in creative professions there are, the better.  For just one example, a society where engineers outnumber lawyers is better off than one in which the reverse is true.  This is not to say that there isn’t any place for lawyers (or bankers, middlemen, etc.)  Still, productivity is maximized when the number of productive jobs increases.

How to do your part

Implementing Distributism won’t require sweeping changes like socialism did.  Still, reforms such as abolishing corporate welfare are large steps that won’t happen overnight.  Until then, individual choices can make a difference:

  • Rather than patronizing Fivebucks Coffee, find a locally-owned business that sells what you like.
  • Go to Mom-and-Pop restaurants rather than huge franchises.
  • Visit your local farm and market, where possible.  Buying locally also helps reduce pollution from transporting food long distances.  If you’re into health food, note that “all natural” effectively means the same thing as “organic”.  Lots of red tape is required for organic certification.  This is easy for huge agribusiness companies with departments handling that, but harder for family farmers.
  • Instead of seeing a Hollywood film, first check out your local theater company to see what plays they’re showing.  That would be a great place to bring a date; likely a first-time experience for many.
  • If your community has a local currency, then participate in it, as this increases liquidity within your community.
  • Pay off your credit cards.  Every dollar of interest might as well go into a paper shredder.  Don’t feed the banksters.
  • Use a credit union rather than a megabank.  Smaller is better.
  • If you really must smoke weed, then grow your own (where legal, of course).  Don’t feed the cartels.
  • If you’re skilled with computers or know a trade, start up your own company.  This is the gold standard of Distributism.  It can be a side job at first, but if all goes well, one day you could be working for yourself.  This is a little tricky, since you’ll have to figure out taxes (such as the 1040 Schedule C), regulations, and advertising.  Still, getting out of the cubicle and away from the HR department’s watchful gaze may well be worth it.
Distributism, The Unknown Ideal

How Social Justice Warriors wrecked the atheist community

In the beginning…  Rebecca Watson, a feminist who runs the “Skepchick” website (formerly known for their pin-up calendars), lectured at the World Atheist Convention in June 2011.

The botched approach

nolo me fabulare2

Later, after leaving a bar around 4am, someone dared speak to Her Majesty in an elevator:

Don’t take this the wrong way, but I find you very interesting and I would like to talk more. Would you like to come to my hotel room for coffee?

Apparently she did take it the wrong way. Later, she made a video discussing many subjects:  “About Mythbusters, Robot Eyes, Feminism, and Jokes”.  One item described why Elevator Guy’s approach made her – as she put it – incredibly uncomfortable.  She was alone (at least he wasn’t butting into a conversation), it was late (perhaps closing time isn’t always best), she was in a foreign country (Ireland is pretty scary, after all), and her topic was misogyny in the atheist community.  Oh my God, right?  On that last item, I agree; although she’s a bit cute even despite the weird dye job, feminist rhetoric makes me – how shall we say – incredibly uncomfortable.

Making mountains out of mole hills

How big a deal was this, really? Objectively, nothing Elevator Guy said or did was menacing or even disrespectful.  Anyway, that was a little too close to an Apocalypse Opener; he should have waited for some definite IOIs before going direct, or maybe opened with the time-worn “Who lies more?” Routine.  Proper Calibration is difficult with less than a minute, though.  Elevator Game is tricky; if anyone has successful field reports, please comment below.

More seriously, receiving too many overtures might be tiresome, especially in mostly male environments. Still, no offense is ever intended.  Because men don’t read minds (contrary to popular belief), we don’t know for sure if someone will be receptive until opening a conversation, preferably done smoothly.  We’re expected to make the first move, so it’s irrational to fault us for doing so.  Many advantages come with good looks, but that also gets extra attention from both hot and not-so-hot guys.  Women choose who to accept, but not who asks.  Beauty fades as time marches on; those complaining of frequent approaches might someday fondly remember when they got any offers.

In fact, this is just silly.  If I went to a quilting convention and someone invited me to her place for coffee, I wouldn’t post a video about it to shame her before the world. (Actually, if my greatest problem was women flirting with me, I wouldn’t complain too much!)  Even when a gay guy hits on me, I don’t blow a gasket; he has the right to start a conversation, and he doesn’t know I’m not into guys until he asks.

“Dear Muslima” – the post that launched a thousand tirades

In reaction to that video, Richard Dawkins – notable for atheist advocacy and evolutionary biology, but not always for diplomacy – blogged the following on July 2:

Dear Muslima,

Stop whining, will you. Yes, yes, I know you had your genitals mutilated with a razor blade, and… yawn… don’t tell me yet again, I know you aren’t allowed to drive a car, and you can’t leave the house without a male relative, and your husband is allowed to beat you, and you’ll be stoned to death if you commit adultery.  But stop whining, will you.  Think of the suffering your poor American sisters have to put up with.

Only this week I heard of one, she calls herself Skep”chick”, and do you know what happened to her? A man in a hotel elevator invited her back to his room for coffee.  I am not exaggerating.  He really did.  He invited her back to his room for coffee. Of course she said no, and of course he didn’t lay a finger on her, but even so…

And you, Muslima, think you have misogyny to complain about! For goodness sake grow up, or at least grow a thicker skin.

Richard

Hallelujah! Brethren, let’s have an “Amen”!  For wittily deconstructing feminist hypersensitivity, I hereby forgive Richard Dawkins for his dreadfully boring book The Selfish Gene.  (Readers at Return of Kings are well aware that satire can generate epic controversy!)  Telling a feminist to grow a pair is one thing.  His mortal sin was pointing out feminism’s rotten hypocrisy.  (Jesus called out hypocrites too.  He and Dawkins do have a little in common after all; who knew?)  Particularly, feminists scramble to find tiny things to get offended about in the Western world, yet pay comparatively very little attention to far worse elsewhere – stoning, beheading, mutilation, acid attacks, just to begin.  One feminist cause-du-jour is forbidding men to start conversations with women, even respectfully.  (Are we supposed to send smoke signals now?  WTF?)  Meanwhile, Muslim atrocities receive remarkably little comment, given their severity.  Radical feminism is one of the fronts of cultural Marxism – which seeks to make Western civilization look as bad as possible – so pointing out far worse things by others would go against the agenda.  Also, noticing them would make it absurd to gripe endlessly about how terrible things are here.

And so it came to pass that “Elevatorgate” began. Some blamed him for all the mess that followed.  However, I disagree; this wouldn’t have happened if deep fault lines hadn’t existed in the community, or especially if there weren’t online Social Justice Warriors ready to be directed as a mob to pounce on anything politically incorrect.  His post was merely a stray spark that set off the powder keg.  Watson and Dawkins probably didn’t anticipate all the drama soon to follow. If they reacted disproportionately, they were pretty reasonable compared to what would soon follow.

Hellfire and damnation

hell

Ms. Watson made a prickly rebuttal to the “Dear Muslima” post, titled “The Privilege Delusion”, without clearly explaining what privilege had to do with anything. Apparently “privilege” isn’t being used in its normal meaning, but as a buzzword loaded with unstated assumptions, leaving it to readers to guess what this floating abstraction means.  Media outlets weighed in too:  Salon, Gawker, and so forth, mainly to the effect that Richard Dawkins is a dick.  One item was “Richard Dawkins and male privilege“.  That too didn’t describe what is “privilege” here (or why) – inviting someone to one’s room, saying that inviting someone to one’s room is not an atrocity, a male expressing an opinion, or all the above?  The article stated, “This was a potential sexual assault.”  Only in the sense that any shopper asking the price of merchandise is a potential armed robber!  I thought atheists were supposed to be logical?

Let’s put this baloney to rest. Starting a conversation is free speech.  It’s called “socializing”.  This is, in fact, how countless relationships have started since forever.  Bad taste should be avoided, but even maladroit flirtation isn’t a crime, or even a potential crime.  If Elevator Guy had evil intentions, he would have acted on them, quite likely without asking.

Soon the fur really started to fly.  Social Justice Warriors, like a hive of hornets, swarmed on command into a place they weren’t welcome and unleashed venom.  I haven’t been an atheist since I was a teenager, but I don’t believe they deserved a mob of SJWs crashing their party to poop in the punch bowl.  “Elevatorgate” has been called “the day the atheist movement died”.  The real problem is entryism:  when feminists go into traditionally male spaces and attempt to force their agenda, with online SJW mobs shouting down everyone.  Thus, “Elevatorgate” was a prelude to the 2014 “Gamergate” controversy, where feminists butted in to spout outrage about video games they didn’t like, then unleashed their SJW toadies.  That was truly some stupid stuff – things like complaining about Super Mario Bros. because the objective is to rescue Princess Peach.  I wish I was making this up.  Aren’t there far greater problems in the world?  Well, that’s kind of what Dawkins said too…  Entryism isn’t about fixing problems or debating constructively; it’s about wrecking the community.

For the next three weeks, the flame war within the atheist community resembled the Old Testament wrath upon the city of Sodom. Ultimately, this caused a schism amongst the unbelievers.  “Atheism+” was founded by SJWs who mix irreligion and politics.  The “Plus” meant the whole SJW ideological burrito.  As their website put it, “Atheism+ is safe space for people to discuss how religion affects everyone and to apply skepticism and critical thinking to everything, including social issues like sexism, racism, GLBT isues [sic], politics, poverty, and crime.”  (Does this include critically examining their own views?)  They announced that atheism is dead, much like Nietzsche said that God is dead.  They launched a crusade to take godlessness to the next level and purge all heretics.  Declaring themselves the “true” atheists and attempting to shun dissenters didn’t work; the tail does not wag the dog.  Two key founders quickly abandoning ship didn’t help either.

The aftermath of the apocalypse

Still, the embers continued to be stirred up. A year after the botched elevator approach, Ms. Watson wrote an article about getting trolled, rape threats, and death threats.  Could some of that have been manufactured for outrage?  Well, these things happen sometimes.  Dare I say that I’m agnostic on the matter?

On August 6, 2014, Dawkins issued a brief apology. Ms. Watson quickly tweeted, “Richard Dawkins just did the blog-equivalent of coughing into his hand while mumbling ‘sorry’ to me. Eh, I’ll take it.”  A couple of months later, he backtracked a little, once more foiling her attempt to get in the last word, just like she tried to do with Elevator Guy.  Regarding his controversial statements on many subjects, he stated in an interview “I don’t take back anything that I’ve said.”  He noted, “There is a climate of bullying, a climate of intransigent thought police which is highly influential in the sense that it suppresses people like me.”  We certainly understand.  Even so, he called himself “a passionate feminist”.  For God’s sake, Richard, they threw you under the bus!  Once the SJW Inquisition damns you as a heretic, there is no salvation.

How Social Justice Warriors wrecked the atheist community

Tips for young ladies

I usually write for a male audience, but now I’m making an exception for benefit of any young ladies out there.  The following might seem a bit harsh; that’s because the truth hurts.  You might not like some of the things I have to say, so my first tip is to listen to sensible advice instead of resisting it.  Think back on all the times that rejecting the voice of experience worked out great and enhanced your life.  None?  I didn’t think so either.  I do care about you – yes, really! – so take all this in the spirit in which it’s meant.

Appearance

Don’t cut your hair, ever

Long hair looks great.  If it’s all the way down your back, that’s quite stunning.  If it’s down to your knees, then I’m in awe.  Yes, long hair is more effort to maintain, but not really that bad.  I let my golden tresses grow out in the style of my Viking ancestors, so I know from experience that managing the mane isn’t really a labor of Hercules.  It already takes you an hour to get ready to go anywhere, so a few more minutes applying extra conditioner isn’t much.

Getting married doesn’t mean it’s time to chop it all off (unless hubby’s into the butch lesbian look); this is one of the reasons why guys are afraid of marriage, among several items.  If you ask him and he says “do whatever you like”, he’s probably lying about not having an opinion to make you happy.  I know that you don’t like what seems to be indecisiveness, but many guys are unaware of that.

Also, don’t dye it unnatural colors.  Many of us think that looks weird, or wonder what kind of person dyes her hair green.  Still, at least that’s reversible, which brings us to the next matter.

Don’t ruin your body with “modifications”

I can already hear it now – someone out there is furious and yelling, “My body, my rules!”  Remember what I just said about listening to sensible advice?  Anyway, after the piercing fad took off, many young ladies wanted to be different just like all their friends.  The problem is, having holes in your body that Nature didn’t put there doesn’t add anything to beauty; in fact, it detracts.  The ears are one location where piercings (one apiece is enough) won’t make you look like a Martian.  Even so, I find unpierced ears to be refreshingly unique!

Be judicious about tattoos, if you really must.  If you don’t, you’ll probably hate it twenty years later.  Don’t put anything on your body unsuitable for a picture on your living room wall.  Actually, I like women with lots of tattoos because I know they’re going to be “easy”.  Still, consider the implications:  that doesn’t exactly make you seem like steady relationship material, now does it?

Keep fit, stay fit

I’ll cut you slack for extra pounds, within reason, but many guys won’t.  Perhaps you find it rather shallow to judge a woman on her weight.  Actually, I agree.  (Likewise, it’s shallow to judge a guy on his weight, height, muscle mass, income, career, confidence level, sense of humor, hobbies, ideology, yada yada yada.)  Anyway, the basics to fitness are pushing the fork out of your face and lifting weights.  There’s much more to be said, but I don’t have the space to get into all that.  Effort and persistence are where it’s at.  Cutting out junk food helps.  (By the way, milkshakes sold as coffee are junk food.)  I know getting in shape is a big hassle – I’ve been there myself – but keep at it.

Avoid unnecessary ultraviolet exposure

See, not everything I say is all judgmental!  Wear sunblock when you go out and don’t use tanning booths.  UV exposure is what causes wrinkles.  Wouldn’t it be cool to turn 45 and still look 35?

Interacting with guys

Don’t cop an attitude

Now I’m going to get judgmental again.  If you believe being snarky, nasty, or mean is “empowering”, then I’ve got bad news – that’s not the way into anybody’s heart.  If this describes you, then one day there’ll be a guy you very much want to meet, but he won’t want to have anything to do with you after he senses what kind of person you are.  Unprovoked verbal aggression is bad, okay?  If someone is treating you respectfully, there’s no reason to be unpleasant.

Some women give guys shit to test their reaction; some of us know that we’re supposed to tease back.  However, to anyone unaware how the game is played, your personality will seem extremely unattractive, and that means lost opportunities for you.  On that note, men don’t like women who act unladylike any more than you like guys who act wimpy.

If you like a guy, it’s okay to say so

Some of you might come close and hope we’ll make the first move.  That’s way too subtle; we can’t read your minds.  Also, some guys are afraid to approach, after being shot down hard too many times.  (It can take years for us to recover from that.)  If you like someone, just walk up and introduce yourself.  He won’t bite your head off, call you a girl-creep, or whip out the pepper spray.  Instead, he’ll be pleasantly surprised.

About young guys

Give guys your age a chance.  At least think about it, okay?  Those who are shy and awkward simply haven’t yet learned how to be cool and smooth.  That takes years too.  They’re not at the height of their career yet, but in time that will change.  None of that means they lack good characteristics or won’t make a good match.

Have some standards

Let’s get human evolution out of reverse gearAvoid guys who refuse to work, beat you, act psycho, or are idiots.  Stop rewarding their behavior with sex.  No, he won’t change; Hollywood lied to you.  If this describes most of (or all) your exes, then learn from your mistakes.  The first time it was all his fault for acting that way; after that, it’s on you too because you know what you’re getting yourself into.  If this is what you saw growing up, this doesn’t mean it’s normal or something you should tolerate.  If you have low self-esteem, fix it.  Whatever’s your problem, just stop hooking up with losers.  This will improve your life immensely.

If you choose to disregard this, then do not ever cry on the shoulder of a guy who likes you and treats you decently.  Don’t use him for favors.  Especially don’t ask him for advice on how to fix your relationship with the flavor of the month.  That’s banned by international law under the UN Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment.  If you need an amateur psychiatrist, find a bartender and tip him generously for all the crap you’ll unload on him.

…But don’t have impossible standards

If you’re average, then an average guy who treats you right is perfectly suitable.  That’s right, Princess.  What makes you think (or act like) you deserve a celebrity?  It’s remotely possible you’ll find a rich guy, but the bad news is that most of them are egomaniacs prone to temper tantrums about nothing.

Aiming high is understandable, but after a point it becomes counterproductive.  (Hey, I’d love to date billionaire supermodels who like nerdy stuff, but that ain’t happening.)  Reasonable standards are “Has his own place, a car, a real job, and a decent personality”.  However, if your laundry list of “must haves” is as long as John Dillinger’s – uh – criminal record, then adjust your expectations.

Thou shalt not ditch someone by email or text message

When God finally publishes the Third Testament, this will be the Eleventh Commandment.  That’s chickenshit and incredibly immature.  It’s the moral equivalent of sending a clown with a kazoo to deliver a death annoucement.  If you’re going to dump someone, then do that face-to-face or at least call.  You kids text too much anyway.

Marriage

Plan your life well

Although society – and especially the government – make great efforts to shield people from the consequences of their bad decisions, your love life has direct consequences for your future.  One series of mistakes will make you a lonely cat lady eventually.  Another will leave you on welfare with illegitimate children by several deadbeat dads.  That’s the harsh reality of it.  Although feminists told you that marriage is slavery, they lied (as usual); it’s certainly far better than the first two outcomes.

“Having it all” has consequences

Many of you plan to party hard and go through boyfriends like you change your socks during your 20s.  Then the corporate world will make you rich in your 30s.  Sometime in your 40s, you’ll find Jesus, find a husband, and finally get around to having kids.  Well, there are a few problems.  First, party animals are well advised that your reputation will follow you; for one thing, what goes on the Internet stays there forever.  Second, working in a cube farm sucks, and few strike it rich.  Third, if you wait until middle age when “baby rabies” sets in, it becomes difficult to conceive, and eventually impossible.  If you disregard all this, we won’t marry you, but we’ll still hook up with you if you’re still cute.  You avoided unnecessary ultraviolet exposure, right?

Make love often

Marriage is inherently a sexual relationship; otherwise, you’re basically just roommates.  Yes, it’s important to us.  I might add that those who use sex as a reward, punishment, or bargaining chip are cheapening things dreadfully.  Love should be made – at mutually agreed times, of course – but things are going to hit the skids if this is once in a blue moon.  You like it too, and bringing fresh joy and passion into the world is a good thing.

About divorce

If you’re being mistreated (I told you to stop choosing guys like that) then it’s okay to bail.  However, boredom is not a legitimate reason to break an oath.  When you get married, it’s either at an altar or at a judge’s bench; either way, it’s a vow before God Almighty, so that’s serious business.  Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way these days.  The following happened in two separate incidents to guys I know.  Their wives insisted on changing plans at the last minute, but the husbands opted to continue their shared vacation as planned.  When they got back, their wives filed for divorce.  That was just plain stupid, and they had young children too – that’s a hell of a reason to wreck a family!

Remember, only you are responsible for your emotional state.  Your divorced friends will give you “helpful advice”, because misery loves company.  Lots of bottom-feeder lawyers will want to “help”, for a price, of course; marriage is the only area of law that provides legally sanctioned benefits for breach of contract.  All relationships have their ups and downs; unless you’re being mistreated, do your best to work things out instead.

If you really must get divorced, you may leave with what you brought into the relationship, but expecting half of his property too is theft.  If you were in a traditional homemaker role, this doesn’t mean he owes you any compensation for housework done in the past; if he was buying groceries and keeping a roof over your head, then he was doing his part.  Alimony is also theft; if the relationship ends, the benefits should end too.  No stealing the kids either, or turning them against him; that’s not right.

Tips for young ladies

For your reading pleasure

New writings from Thy Humble Narrator

I’m doing my final go-over on one of my manuscripts that’s been kicking around for a few years, Medieval Vixen Quest Episode 0:  The Search For Shlock.  In case you can’t guess, it will be cornier than a bag of Fritos, but in a good way  This will be my first foray into fantasy writing, and my longest fiction publication thus far.  I’m pretty excited about it.  Unfortunately, going through this last draft has been a real pain in the tail.  Still, it’s coming along, so stay tuned, kids.

Also, I’ve published one of my articles at Return of Kings, concerning how the Frankfurt School launched the cultural Marxist revolution by taking over the universities.  (If you’ve ever suspected that half of your professors were Communists, there’s a reason for that!)  RoK is a good site; if you like what I write on this blog, you’ll probably like them too.  From my article, I’ve picked up a few new readers here.  Welcome, everyone!

Site recommendations

I’d like to take the opportunity to share a couple of finds from The Onion.  I got a real kick out of them.  I swear, they have some serious Red Pill talent over there:

Here’s an article by Matt Forney addressed to all the young dudes out there.  Overall, it’s a good one covering many topics, for which I highly recommend it to guys of all ages, but the following quote is made of pure awesome:

If you’re a boy with an IQ above 105, the idea of sitting still in a classroom watching a frumpy spinster drone on and on about material you’ve already mastered is intolerable.

He just described 90% of my experience in elementary school and junior high, and 50% of my high school experience.  I could go on about my trip through the scholastic meat grinder, but that would be a very long tirade indeed.  There’s a reason why “We Don’t Need No Education” is one of my favorite Pink Floyd songs!

Finally, be sure to check out the Red Panels comic strip, concerning funny truths about politics, culture, and gender relations..

For your reading pleasure