I will cover a couple of subjects that I hinted at in Righteous Seduction, but didn’t get a chance to go into very much depth on then.
Categories of receptiveness
It’s fairly obvious that your chances with someone depend on what she thinks of you. Still, we can add clarity by classifying this into three groups:
- Not receptive. This can result from several factors. For a few examples, she might be in a committed relationship, she might be having a bad day, she might not like your looks, you might have blown your approach (perhaps by being too direct), etc. Either way, first impressions count for a lot, and unfortunately things didn’t go so well. There’s not much you can do about this, at least not now. Eject as gracefully as possible. This will reduce your chances of her gossiping about you, which might ruin your chances with someone else.
- Maybe receptive. She hasn’t made up her mind up about you yet. This is where having good game comes into play. Basically you’ll have to be interesting, cool, and smooth. Most likely, she’ll make up her mind about you with a little time. If she ends up not liking you, try to end it on a high note at least. The same applies if things are going nowhere; be on guard if the conversation starts dragging.
- Receptive. You’re pretty much golden. The only way things won’t work out is if you screw it up, for instance by acting too desperate or saying something dweeby. Keep the interest level up, but beware of overgaming.
Knowing where you stand, of course, is the big question. We can’t read minds, and you’re not always going to get honest, direct communication about what she thinks of you. For instance, “I’m just not interested in you” is pretty clear, but something a little snarky might be a Shit Test; those are annoying, but are actually an opportunity if you know how to handle them. IOIs and IODs (indicators of interest or disinterest) will be your guide. Actually, I wrote a good bit about that in Righteous Seduction (as well as Shit Tests). The biggest tells are how much she participates in the conversation and how much she looks at you. Spirited participation and gazing into your eyes are a good sign. Monosyllabic replies and looking away are a bad sign. Stammering and giggles and looking down might be shyness, which will be recoverable if you can get her to feel more comfortable.
Finally, give each interaction a couple of minutes (unless it ends in a Blowout, of course). If things don’t head in a positive direction, then don’t run away screaming or sulk in a corner for the rest of the night. If you get a string of bad reactions, or exhaust 25% of your possibilities, it’s your sign to find a friendlier venue. Until then, see where things go.
The Law of Least Effort
There are countless ways to be more successful with women. Suppose I was advising someone on how to improve his social life. Let’s assume this is someone who needs a lot of work. Some of the steps (far from an exhaustive list) might be:
- Improve your hygiene
- Start dressing well
- Cut out the junk food
- Pull yourself away from the computer and socialize more
- Start working out
- Overcome your shyness
- Read up on basic seduction principles
- Fix your conversational skills
- Develop some interesting hobbies
- Study advanced seduction principles
- Develop your career
- Move out of Mom’s basement
- Get a decent vehicle
Note that these are categorized from the easiest to the hardest. Many are important but can’t be completed overnight. Start now, but don’t give up when you don’t get immediate results. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Taking the last item as an example, there are some people who believe that if only they get a motorcycle, hot rod, monster truck, or whatever, it will make them a chick magnet. If you scrape together all your money for a down payment, then that won’t do anything for your social life (while leaving you massively in debt) if you don’t have the fundamentals right (or don’t take showers). If you’re not working on other things because you don’t own a hot rod yet, then you’re just spinning your wheels. That being said, a late model rice burner isn’t a Mercedes, but it’s going to be better than that Bondo-colored 1989 Yugo. If even that’s out of the question, never fear; you’re taking the bus because you believe in being frugal and saving the environment, aren’t you? Seriously, don’t even think about upgrading your ride until you have everything easier taken care of and you can easily afford it.
Likewise, if you read up on pickup lines or whatever, that’s not going to do very much if you dress like a slob and don’t take showers. Don’t put the cart in front of the horse! If you memorize a bunch of Routines to break the ice, but can’t hold an interesting conversation, then you’re going to freeze up when you run out of material or the conversation goes in an unexpected direction. That’s why “fix your conversational skills” comes before all that. Also, if you’re endlessly debating seduction theory online but you never go to social events, that will get you nowhere fast. Don’t do any of that! The Law of Least Effort keeps you on track by getting you the best results the fastest.
Another example of “least effort” efficiency is the following:
- Set up some good profiles on free dating sites
- Attend more social events
- Start writing to people on the dating sites
- Go clubbing
- Convince someone to stop stringing you along
Note that this is also arranged from least to most difficult. Setting up a good dating site profile will take two hours, tops. Men get far less mail than women, but I’ve had positive results (if you know what I mean) by receiving messages out of the blue. You can write to people on the sites, though you’ll be missing out if you’re not entering the real-world social arena.
Once you’ve cast your net online, then get into the real world. Low-pressure social events are easier than the club scene, which is why you shouldn’t neglect them.
As for the last item, consider that one a back-burner effort at the very best. You’re wasting your time if you’re putting your hopes all on one person, especially if she isn’t clearly showing interest. A six month seduction plan is a losing proposition; avoid the ONEitis disease. If you have an active social life, this might actually convince your special someone that she’s missing out on you. In Righteous Seduction, I wrote at great length on escaping the Friend Zone, but still I’ll tell you that you’re better off pursuing other options.