A new development is described in the article “Women are wearing ‘unapproachable makeup’ as a way of warding off men.” This came out at the Daily Express, but their article is improperly formatted there. All that’s under the heading are advertisements, and finally a banner at the bottom announcing the article “NYC rabbi charged with ‘rape by deception’ for ‘duping 30 women’ with fake Tinder profile.” (Oy veh!) Fortunately, the “unapproachable makeup” thing is viewable for now at MSN’s Lifestyle section.
It has pictures showing us what this exciting new trend all about. The first is an okay-looking chick without makeup. Then the same okay-looking chick has little gobs of makeup splotched on her forehead and cheeks. And then. . . she’s invisible! Just kidding there; the last one shows her looking remarkably like an okay-looking chick with makeup on. What a clever disguise! Then it summarizes a video clip by Megi Hebeja (the okay-looking chick who goes by gabxxrielle):
As explained in the video, the trend has become a weapon for women who want to be left in peace on a night out.
Megi admitted in a clip that there is “nothing” she loves “more than p****** men off and nothing p***** them off more than when you look so good they’re too scared to approach you”.
She hardly needs makeup to drive me off. Partying with a bad attitude is like taking an hour to get all dolled up, then rolling around in mud before walking into the club. In particular, saying “Nothing I love more than pissing men off” is as repellent as forgetting to wipe her ass. Thanks for the warning, though! For those who don’t want attention, all they have to do is wait ten years, and then they’ll be wondering why guys aren’t flirting with them any more. In her case, this might work out to more like five. Fiat voluntas tua.
Pray tell, do women really not want attention from guys? If so, they wouldn’t put on makeup. Instead they’d wear burqas.
It’s official. The price of nookie has become unsustainable, at least in the USA. I had a crazy idea a little while back. This was to go one of the brothels in Nevada and get a tasteful picture of me kissing one of the ladies on the cheek, that’s all, everyone’s clothes stay on. After that, I’d grab a beer at the bar, buy a commemorative shotglass, and be on my way.
I saw a YouTube video with a hooker who works at one of those places, and she dropped her email. (I’ll just say she’s a short redhead.) I wrote, and a cute blonde wrote back. The short redhead got a job somewhere else, but maybe I was still interested in doing business. I replied to the blonde, repeating what I had in mind. Unfortunately, it seems she didn’t read my brief note. She wrote back with a form letter. I’ll have to give her credit – this was the most charming form letter I’ve seen. Part of it included the following:
I’m not allowed to discuss prices over email because of Nevada law, but I can help it be a little less mysterious. Full encounters with me start in the lower four figures, hours are lower to mid four figures depending on the activity, outdates where we leave [redacted] for a few hours are mid to high four figures, and overnight stays are in the lower five figures. I really can’t be any more specific than that without breaking the law, but you should know that I’m not generally into focusing on time other than that I’m all about you having the time of your life. This is about our adventure, not how many hours or minutes we have to explore the reason for your visit. When time enters into that equation, we’ll talk about it like any other part of what we’d like to do.
Oh dear – where do I even begin? All I was looking for was a cute but tasteful picture. So let me extrapolate here – if a half hour bang goes for “in the lower four figures”, then five minutes of time for a very brief photo shoot would perhaps be $200. I’d consider a $20 tip to be a fair price. I’d even go for $40, based on what performers on the Vegas strip want for a photo op. As for any more than that, sorry, I don’t have “sucker” written on my forehead.
I don’t care for prostitution, but suppose I did want to get laid? I like to savor the moment, and a quickie wouldn’t do. That’s especially if I’m flying to Vegas or Reno and renting a car to drive to Bum Fuck, Egypt where these places are. Again, a one hour bang would be “lower to mid four figures depending on the activity”. I suppose this actually means $3-6K, in which the larger number would apply if I’m poking the no-no hole or something.
What else could I do with that kind of swag? I could fly to Barcelona instead and bang lots of “hello Sailor” girls by the docks on Las Ramblas. I could fly to Amsterdam and party in lots of those red cubicles they have downtown. Then there’s Thailand – not my type, but this is a thought experiment anyway. For the price of a one hour bang in Nevada, I could have a vacation abroad instead, including much more of the same thing. I’m not recommending sex tourism; I’m just looking into the obvious economics of this, and these chicas are muy loca. Also, I could buy two or three ounces of gold for that ballpark figure.
Who can afford rates like that anyway, except maybe that douche-canoe Charlie Sheen? Apparently there’s a sucker born every minute. Later I found out that the cute redhead rakes in a million dollars a year, selling her ass in Nevada. That’s about three times what the average cardiovascular surgeon makes, I kid you not. Hey, feminists – what’s that you were saying about male privilege again?
Here’s a true vignette illustrating how much the social landscape has gone to hell in two decades.
December 31, 1999
I’m with an extended circle of friends in the woods. We’ve built a fire, preparing to celebrate the turn of the millennium. As the night draws on, I make out with a chubby brunette. She’s always has been fun and vivacious; a defining characteristic of her personality. What a magical evening! Things don’t go any further than that with her, but it left fond memories.
Two years ago
I see the same person again, happy to see her. I call out. No answer. Did she not hear me? I call out again. This time she answers.
Stop using my dead name!
By using this terminology, it seems she probably caught the radical gender theory mind-virus, and now believes she’s a man. This is quite a surprise to me; I didn’t know she got a sex change, transitioned genders, switched her Underoos, or ever had any intentions of doing so. Despite my lack of enthusiasm for this politically correct fad, I’ll go along with it in the name of being polite.
What would you like me to call you?
No answer.
That’s right. The friendly, vivacious gal who once embraced me so warmly now ignores me, like I’m a bum begging for spare change or something. Well now, that is all kinds of special.
Anyhow; since I was never informed what the new name is, I came up with something. Henceforth, this individual will be “Somebody That I Used To Know” – and dead to me forever.
Earlier I predicted, more or less, that OnlyFans would ruin dating. Well, it turns out that it also might be ruining even “pay-for-play” too. Mind you, I don’t recommend prostitution, but I came across a discussion indicating that it might be doom and gloom for the “Oldest Profession”. If this continues, OnlyFans and other pics-for-pay services might end up doing more to destroy it than a brigade of Progressive Era social reformers. The following is excerpted, and somewhat redacted, from a discussion of how flaky “escorts” have become lately. One guy, who even has had trouble finding a ladyboy, states the following – and get ready to cringe:
There’s an amazingly beautiful, hung TS on my local [escort website]. She says she gets so many game-player messages she asks you to subscribe to her OnlyFans to show you’re serious and a post there gives an alternate text to contact her. So, okay. I’ll drop $16 to show I’m serious. A couple responses to my queries to get together. Then nothing for months now. Sorry, I’m not going to keep paying a monthly fee so she’ll respond. Did it once. Expressed sincere interest in meeting. Clearly she has no intention of meeting people. She just wants OF subscribers. Sitting back, making a few teaser clips now and then, and watching the money trickle in from 100s of guys is easier (and safer) than hooking up for a couple hundred a pop.
All this OF and Snapchat and all the rest has ruined it for guys who want more than a quick visit car BJ from the nearest “a hole is a hole, who cares if they’re an ugly skanky smelly heroin addict” escort. Fakes, flakes and scammers are the majority, not the exception. That’s why it often seems next to impossible to get laid in a whorehouse. It’s not you and me, or our approach, except that we have SOME standards.
You read that right. He’s found it damn near impossible to find a “Hello Sailor” girl – in this case, who isn’t even a girl – other than dope fiends feeding their addictions. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? So then he got an OnlyFans subscription to “her” account only to find that this ladyboy was scamming him. He continues:
I had met this one particular woman through [e-THOT website]. She’s pretty cool. Our schedules never meshed well. We got together for dinner a couple times; we have a nice rapport. FINALLY after almost 2 years we do The Deed. Well worth the wait. She even [performed a certain activity]. Now Covid, hard time all around. A few weeks ago she hit me up to buy some explicit video she does for premium Snapchat. Her theory is it’s worth $200 to jerk off to video of someone you actually know and like. Sorry, I’m hands-on only. Plenty of free porn to jerk off to online. If my finances were better I’d pay to actually fuck her again, but she wasn’t cheap (considering her video is $200, just imagine). I paid less for a (different) truly passable hot TS from [escort website]. I feel sorry for her that she’s barely scraping by, but so am I at the moment. Gotta pay my own bills before I help someone pay theirs too.
So he met a different hooker earlier, they apparently carried on a couple years of email game, and finally he got the bang which cost him an arm and a leg. Then recently, she wanted him to pay two hundred bucks for beat-off material, which costs more than (euwww) banging a ladyboy.
Fortunately, he’s sensible enough to realize that flogging the dolphin is free! Again, I don’t recommend prostitution, but at least it’s a two-way transaction where the guy gets something out of it!
Since nothing important is happening today, I’ll tell you what I think of OnlyFans. Okay, I was exaggerating about it being an evil, Satanic plot to destroy the world. However, it is an evil software platform destroying the tattered remains of the sexual marketplace, and here’s why.
For those of you who didn’t know, OnlyFans is a service where women post erotic photos of themselves available to subscribers who pay a monthly fee for it. Supposedly there are 100 million accounts; I’m not sure how many are “content creators” and how many are “sponsors”, but I’m afraid to say that the figure does seem credible. It’s not too different from what certain paid users of Instagram already have been doing. So what’s the problem with this?
I figure that most objections to what I say will fall under two categories:
Buh- buh- buh- that’s capitalism at its finest!
You can’t tell me what to do! I can do anything I want!
For item 1, according to Fascist economics, value is created when someone makes or does something of value. (Pointing a camera at your hoo-hah doesn’t count.) I’ll spare you a lecture on Socialist labor theory, but pointing a camera at your hoo-hah doesn’t count either. Therefore, monetizing the hoo-hah is a form of grifting. If reactionaries and radicalinskis can agree on this, then maybe there’s something to it. Even if not for that, there are certain market externalities to consider, which I’ll deal with shortly.
For item 2, you are a spoiled brat in a woman’s body sticking out your tongue and then yelling “Fuck you, Dad!” Grow up and get a real job.
The economic perspective
To get a more complete picture, consider that the definition of “economy” means a method of distribution of scarce resources. When we think of the economy, we generally think of the monetary system with all its intricacies. That certainly does qualify as one. Another economy is social in nature, rather than monetary: the sexual marketplace, in which men and women form relationships with each other. Now, it’s time for a digression.
Market externalities are unintended side effects (for better or worse) of economic activity. Let’s say that the city buys the block next door to your house and turns it into a big flower garden. That creates a positive externality; it will make your property values go up and fill your air with fragrance. Suppose instead that a developer buys the block and creates a small strip shopping center which is leased to a rowdy biker bar, a methadone clinic, and an X-rated movie arcade (you know, the little booths with the holes in the walls). Now your property values have gone down, it’s noisy at night, the crime rate went up, and sometimes you’re cleaning up beer bottles, used condoms, and syringes that went over the fence. That’s a negative externality. Either way, whether you got the flower garden or the public nuisances, someone sold property nearby and (for better or worse) it affected your property values and, to a degree, your enjoyment of life.
What happens when inflation rates are unbalanced? If as a tourist you go to St. Mark’s Plaza in Venice and get a little cup of coffee, you might be surprised that it costs fifteen bucks. If you go to Mexico and buy a big dinner, it costs what you’d usually pay for lunch. If you go from Flyover Country to San Francisco, lunch costs what you’d pay for dinner.
What happens when the sexual marketplace is unbalanced? Back in the barbarian days, you might be able to get a virgin bride by paying her father a dozen goats or something. There were (and still are) plenty of societies in which the family pays the husband-to-be a dowry. What a deal! Note, this isn’t my preferred model for society, and I don’t understand how they make it work, but they do.
So that was an example of when men are valued much more than women. Today’s society in the USA and many other Western countries features the opposite situation. This is thanks to decades of radical feminism and the man-bashing that’s accompanied it, unfortunately aided by male feminists. Women aren’t buying men for a dozen goats, of course, but the following does occur:
Ordinary women believing ordinary men aren’t good enough for them
Bar flies rejecting men who they don’t deserve in the first place
Pursuit of exiting men rather than quality men, often leading to turbulent relationships with violent and unstable guys, or getting pumped and dumped by musicians and celebrities
Men responding by checking out of the social scene, wasting their time with online porn, or even getting sex changes
Note that this is very time-dependent. Young women are like kids in a candy store. When they get older and “hit the wall”, they can’t attract the kind of men they’re used to getting, and might have to settle for someone with a bald spot or pot belly. By the time that usually happens, it’s almost too late to have children. I could go a lot further into all this, but this unbalanced valuation causes a lot of misery for everyone. This has gotten a lot worse in recent times. Online dating tends to skew this. As Roosh put it, women can pick up men on Tinder as easily as ordering pizza. (The difference is that pizza isn’t free.) However, only about 5% of Tinder’s male user base is getting much action from this; the rest are ignored and might as well be invisible. It’s easier for a cat lady to find someone than it is for an ordinary young guy.
Why OnlyFans may be the final nail in the coffin for the sexual marketplace
Again, OnlyFans readily enables women to sell erotic pictures to men who have to pay a monthly subscription. With moral standards at an all-time low, there’s little disincentive for a young woman to monetize her hoo-hah. However, like other so-called “sex work”, this mixes the economic spheres of the monetary economy and the sexual marketplace.
This is where market externalities come in. Does it affect the monetary economy? It does a little, by siphoning productivity away from men. Also, the e-THOTs seldom pay taxes on their “earnings” while the rest of us who actually work for a living have to give unto Caesar. (Feel free to report this crime if you know if this happening; the IRS will give you a commission!) Does it affect the sexual marketplace? It does to a much greater extent, by inflating the already unsustainable market value of the hoo-hah. It also further degrades what little is left of society’s moral standards. There’s a reason why “sex work” has been considered a vice and a public nuisance since at least the Bronze Age.
Unlike prostitution, the men aren’t getting anything out of the e-THOT racket except for a glance! This won’t satisfy the libido any more than looking at a steak will satisfy a starving man’s hunger. (Sure, a guy can whack off while looking at the pictures, but that’s like eating dog food while dreaming of steak.) It’s exploitation of lonely men, plain and simple. Perhaps some of these lost souls imagine that these greedy girls actually like them. The truth is that they’re thought of as simps. Guys, don’t do that – have some self-respect!
No, I’m not making this up. Once again, truth is stranger than fiction. The Daily Caller excerpted from a safety pamphlet, including the following:
“Make it a little kinky. Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact,” states NYC’s Health Department.
Hasn’t all this security theater gone far enough by now? Come on, people; we’ve moved from one manufactured crisis to another anyway!
It really is fun to stay at the YMCA! This, of course, is the first reason of many that all men should take a walk on the wild side. That would be faaaabulous!
Note well, the following isn’t a serious endorsement of buggery like Men’s Health did. If you like it that way, you’re already doing it. If you don’t, then you ain’t gonna go there. However, since I’m still in a fine mood, this is a good a time as any to explain the benefits of the Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name. Consider all this as tongue in cheek – or yanno, right between both of the lower ones.
The nightgame is much friendlier
As a straight guy, I don’t like nightgame very much. Fortunately, you no longer have to endure clouds of cigarette smoke that give you a past life flashback from when you were killed in the gas attack during the Battle of Ypres. Still, music nearing the audible threshold of pain remains a problem, and obviously precludes any conversation short of screaming. What I find the most aggravating are the bad attitudes. I never really could understand why chicks would go to a social venue and act like it’s not a social venue. They’re out to get picked up, they know it and we know it, so why pretend otherwise? As I put it in Deplorable Diatribes:
The bad attitudes are completely repellent, and they do this to themselves. It’s as absurd as if they took an hour to get their outfits ready, but then rolled around in mud before walking into the place. A little charm and grace would go a very long way, and set themselves apart from the competition too.
With gay guys, it’s completely different. They’re the most libertine people in the world. Saying “Hey, how about it?” to women gets you a bad reaction, but it’s exactly the opposite when men are approached by someone they like.
How does a nightgame pickup usually go? Let’s say there’s a straight singles bar with 50 customers. We’ll assume the sex ratio is exactly half and half, though in real-life cases, there usually are fewer women. So for this example, if a straight guy goes into that club, there are 25 women he can meet. For anything to happen, there must be mutual physical attraction. (He probably won’t like some of them, and some won’t like him.) The personalities also have to click, or at least they have to find each other tolerably agreeable. Meanwhile, there are 25 competitors for his 25 prospects. He might be able to pick up someone, but the result is far from certain.
Actually, this is a great understatement of the difficulties involved. Nightgame has become a pain in the ass, and not in a good way! First of all, if someone is an amateur with game, then he’s at a big disadvantage because he doesn’t know the unwritten rules of modern courtship. Then when you factor in problems like Bitch Shields, cockblocking, and AMOGs, it can be a real drag. Then there’s the hypergamy problem, in which most of the bar flies have unrealistic expectations. They think they deserve a celebrity or something, when it’s actually the men they’re shooting down who deserve better prospects. When sex ratios become unfavorable, then it can get to be a sausage fest. At least these places have overpriced liquor for customers to drown their sorrows!
On the other hand, the 175ers have an obvious mathematical advantage making their social venues a target-rich environment. Let’s say that next door to that singles club, there’s a gay bar that also has 50 customers. When another one walks in, he doesn’t find half prospects and half competitors. Instead, he potentially can pick up anyone there, and anyone else might be interested in him, assuming they turn each other on. If a gay bar is a sausage fest, that’s certainly not a bad thing for them! And did I mention that homosexuals are the most libertine people on the planet? These places sometimes have a room set aside where the customers can have a quickie before returning to buy a couple more beers and finding someone else for the night’s next hookup.
That’s right; they’re getting laid like rock stars. Meanwhile, what’s going on at the singles bar next door? Straight guys all too often get used as free drink dispensers by chicks with a case of Princess Complex. If that fact alone doesn’t make you want to get on your knees and give some dude a BJ, then this means you’re confirmed 100% heterosexual. Sorry bro…
You’ll save lots of money
If that wasn’t enough reason to drop the soap, there are economic factors too. Those fortunate enough to be queer don’t have to spend money on girlfriends, wives, kids, or (if things go badly) alimony and child support. There’s a reason why gay neighborhoods often are in upper middle class parts of town, with lots of nice high-rises. Think about it! With a thriving hookup culture (see above) then there’s not even any reason to spend extra cash on dinner dates, expensive gifts, and anniversaries.
Also, there’s no need for a ring with a glittery rock that’s supposed to cost a quarter of your annual salary. (That’s probably a standard that some marketing executive from the DeBeers diamond cartel made up a century ago.) There’s also no expectation for a bridezilla wedding that costs the same as a new car. Everybody knows that gay marriage was a lot more about political theater than genuine interest. The only rational reasons these days to get married are for religious-inspired morality, or to have children, and gays aren’t big on either.
The reason why marriage doesn’t make sense for anything else is because half the time they end in divorce, which is like a cruise missile hitting your bank account. What happens to the small number of homosexuals who actually do get the holy handcuffs if they later decide to bail? This is still a relatively new phenomenon, mostly uncharted legal territory, but I predict that it will work like this:
Straight divorce: The ex-wife steals the ex-husband’s property and children in court
Lesbian divorce: The ex-wives trade property and cats
Gay divorce: The ex-husbands just break up and keep their own stuff
See how much more sensible that is? The difference between being gay and straight is that the gay guy takes it up the ass in a bathhouse, and the straight guy takes it up the ass in a divorce court. Who is having more fun in that scenario, huh?
You’ll be special
Still not convinced that buggery is faaaabulous? Well, what special recognition in society do “breeders” get? You’ll have either Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, and that’s only if you’ve fulfilled your biological imperative. That’s right – you might get a card and a phone call from each of your children. Wait – that’s it? Once again, the sodomites are having all the fun! Heterosexuals aren’t even remarkable as a class. We’re boringly ordinary!
First of all, as a homosexual, you get to have special parades. Pretty cool, huh? There, you can let it all hang out – literally too, if you know what I mean! Like, who doesn’t want to walk down Main Street dressed in assless chaps, fetish gear, or maybe not much at all? If people ever called you a degenerate, now is your chance to prove them right! Why try to win over their hearts and minds when you can make their eyes bleed instead?
This is only the beginning, though. According to cultural Marxism, because gays used to get a hard time, normal society must compensate for that from now on. Therefore, gays should enjoy elevated status, and everyone else must bend over backwards (or preferably forwards) to accommodate them. You’ll have dozens of political lobbies to champion your cause. There are countless clubs, professional organizations, and so forth just for you. If you come out of the closet, you’ll emerge right into a welcoming hug-box with the rest of the gay community. The media loves you, and corporations will virtue signal obsequiously for you. You have a handy “get out of criticism free” card too. If you disagree with someone else, it’s an opinion; if someone disagrees with you, it’s a phobia.
Still, you’d better act fast. There have been a few rumblings by the cultural Marxists that gay guys are becoming too “privileged” and need to be kicked out of the coalition. Part of it is from having all that extra money, you see. (What can you do? I recommend playing the persecution card more; you’re not getting much of it now, but apparently you can keep the racket going for 75 years or longer.) Anyway, enjoy your elevated status while it lasts, because it will be a rude awakening if the rug gets pulled out from under you.
And lastly
I hope you’ve enjoyed this April Fools Day edition. Cheers!
Some game content is being expurgated from Return of Kings lately. One of the items no longer on the site includes the following article. I’m not sure why, since this is one of the least offensive things I wrote over there. So this is a reprint. (If Jesus actually didn’t like Ovid, then He had the chance to strike the dude with lightning, back when He was a little kid. Other than that, I’ll hold my tongue about my thoughts on the recent deletions, at least for the moment.) Therefore, if some of the links here don’t work, you’ll understand why.
Ovid wrote the first PUA literature, around 3AD. (It was 1970 before the next book appeared, Eric Weber’s How To Pick Up Girls!) About two years later, Ovid wrote Love’s Remedy, about NEXTing the Roman way. This should work for exes, those soon to be, and all those ONEitis cases that frequently motivate guys to start learning game.
Distilled from flowery Latin verse full of mythological allusions (and my personal commentary added), here are the bare essentials of washing that broad right outta your hair.
Prevention
Think with the right head.
If you know it’s going to end badly, it’s best to put an end to it in the beginning. Love’s Remedy emphasized not letting the little head do the thinking. It’s a lot harder to break things off if your doomed crush takes root and turns into full-blown heartbreak.
I’ll add that when it’s uncertain if someone will take you seriously, know when to cut your losses. If you’re too optimistic (a frequent hazard for guys), you’ll waste your time and get hurt feelings. Giving up too easily is also bad; defeatist mentality is another Inner Game problem. Let good judgment be your guide in this balance. Further, if chasing someone gets you nowhere, quit chasing her. You might get better results, and if not, at least you’ve cut your losses.
Let things cool down
Get away from it all and catch some other sights.
If you’re already besotted, you might have to wait for a while and distract yourself. Until you’re ready to take off the rose-colored glasses, preoccupy yourself with work or some other constructive pursuit. Staying busy will keep you from grinding your mental gears.
Some of the examples Ovid throws out there include running for office, taking part in warlike exercises (martial arts or working out should do), or fighting the Parthians. (The Middle East is still a mess, two millennia later. A tour of duty in the sandbox—unless you’re opposed—certainly takes your mind off of anyone who won’t have the common courtesy to mail you a Dear John letter.) Ovid also recommends taking up farming; gardening should work if you can’t afford 40 acres and a tractor. He wrote longingly of the rustic lifestyle, much like Seneca, and also recommends hunting and fishing as other distracting pursuits. A long vacation does wonders.
All that’s difficult if you’re suffering heartbreak. Consider it like taking a bitter pill. Ovid recommends not bothering with magic spells; so no New Age stuff there. Just butch up.
She’s not perfect
Same chick!
Now remind yourself of her flaws:
Say to yourself, “She has filched from me this thing and that and, not content with larceny, her extravagance has compelled me to sell my patrimony. What vows she made, and how often has she broken them! How often has she left me lying before her door! To others she gives her love, to me only her disdain. A common broker enjoys with her the nights of love which she refuses me.” Let all these grievances embitter your feelings towards her. Recall them incessantly to your mind, and let them sow the seeds of hatred in it. And when you reproach her, may you wax eloquent; but if only you grieve enough, eloquent you will be without an effort.
Epic! I’ll also add that a slut is someone who sleeps with anyone, while a bitch is someone who sleeps with anyone except you. So if you’re a man of accomplishment, and someone who won’t consider you gives it up for losers with room temperature IQs, she’s a bitch with fleas.
Ovid recounts a personal anecdote, where he thought over how much he didn’t like the appearance of a “certain wench,” even though he had to use his imagination as he didn’t find anything objectively ugly about her. And then:
“What a lot of money she wants.” And that was, indeed, the main count in the indictment.
Ooh burn! He recommends exaggerating any traits of hers which really are bad. If she lacks sparkle in certain areas, have her demonstrate her lack of talent. If possible, have a good look at her some time without fancy clothes and makeup, or with a mudpack on her face. (If not possible, you can always imagine it.)
Find someone else
After unloading some ammo at his critics (we understand), Ovid recommends (in a roundabout way) getting some outside action before your hot date with Miss Wrong. Further, if she has a strange-looking cookie or “fish taco syndrome”, see above about “she’s not perfect”.
In any event, Ovid wasn’t a big believer in monogamy:
I would counsel you also to have two mistresses at a time. If you could have more, it would be still better.
That one’s going to be controversial. Still, on the plus side, that’s quite a way to achieve abundance mentality.
Keep it cool
Another good one:
…[W]hen your despairing heart is consumed with a passion fiercer than the fires of Aetna, act in such a manner that your mistress may deem you colder than ice. Pretend that you are cured, and if your heart still bleeds, never let her suspect it. Let laughter be upon your lips, though tears be in your heart.
We agree. One of the first game mistakes that recovering AFCs must unlearn is supplication. In this instance, holding frame keeps things graceful if you have to break up. I’ll add that it’s extremely helpful if you’re NEXTing someone who’s merely been toying with your affections.
Further, if someone stands you up for a planned hot date, act like it doesn’t bother you, so it doesn’t “push her pride to the point of disdain“. (Yes, flaking is as old as the Roman Empire!) If she wants you back after that, forget it; bang someone else next time.
Calling it quits
In any case, you’d better be firm, or you’re sunk. If you haven’t had enough yet, hang out with her until you’re sick of her. A modern proverb goes that for every “perfect 10“, there’s a guy who’s tired of dealing with her crap.
Also, don’t be alone when you’re despairing; hang out with your friends instead. Until the crisis has passed, avoid the love-stricken like yourself, as well as happy couples. Keep away from the chick you’re trying to get over, her family, and her friends. Don’t ask about her. (These days, this means no lurking on social media.) Don’t even talk about how you’re over her; a gradual NEXTing is better.
When you’re ready, cultivate indifference rather than resentment; she’s now merely an acquaintance. No angry confrontations either. Still, it’s still okay to remind yourself what a flake she is. Ovid recommends getting rid of your love letters. (This advice is obsolete today. Saving those emails and text messages could save your ass.) Also, avoid places that will remind you of her.
Final notes
The following are somewhat modified from the original, though in the same spirit.
Don’t flaunt your wealth; instead, let her think you’re broke. Don’t get aggro with her past or present boyfriends; they know what a pain in the ass she is now anyway. Eat a moderate diet. You’re allowed to get shit-faced drunk. (I recommend only once—okay, fine, one week.) I’ll further add, go find ten other women.
What do little girls watch for entertainment? Animated movies are perennial favorites. The problem is that some of them are conveying the wrong messages. They usually feature princesses, or those who end up marrying into royalty. What’s the deal with that?
It’s obviously about wish fulfillment. First of all, princesses are at the apex of society. Not only are they rich and can afford anything they want, they’re part of the ruling dynasty. Also, princesses can avoid any real work. Their many servants are paid for by the royal treasury (and ultimately the taxpayers). If they were peasant women instead, they’d have to help maintain the farm: milk the cows, churn the butter, and all that. Even if they were bourgeois housewives, that involves cooking, cleaning, and tending children. If they want maids or nannies, the expense comes out of the household budget.
List of Disney princess movies
The following is a list of the movies where the official Disney princesses appear:
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937): Princess raised by an evil stepmother who makes her do chores. Revived from everlasting sleep by handsome prince.
Cinderella (1950): Orphan oppressed by evil stepmother who makes her do chores. Her fairy godmother helps her win the heart of the handsome prince.
Sleeping Beauty (1959): Princess raised without knowledge of her royal status. Revived from everlasting sleep by handsome prince.
The Little Mermaid (1989): Undersea princess overcomes plot of scheming aunt and wins the heart of handsome prince.
Beauty and the Beast (1991): Bourgeois feminist from medieval France removes curse by the power of true love, beast becomes handsome prince cured of psychological problems.
Aladdin (1992): Arab princess shares enchanted adventure with handsome rogue.
Pocahontas (1995): Indian princess meets handsome British officer and takes much artistic license with history.
Mulan (1998): Medieval Chinese feminist enlists in drag and saves her country from Huns. In the sequel, she marries former commanding officer.
The Princess and the Frog (2009): Waitress undergoes amphibian adventure, marries handsome prince.
Tangled (2010): Princess raised without knowledge of her royal status by oppressive witch, meets handsome rogue.
Brave (2012): Feminist princess defies tradition and refuses betrothal. Princess uses magic to manipulate mother, with unexpected results. Princess gets her way, and will get to pick which prince she wants to marry, and when.
Moana (2016): South Seas princess recovers magical artifact.
So we have some common themes here. Excepting the last two, all end up with a highly desirable guy in the end. Most of the heroines are princesses, or the daughters of tribal chiefs in societies that don’t have a national monarchy. Some others ascend to royalty through marriage. Mulan is the only exception, merely getting an officer of high standing. The princesses who end up with handsome rogues, instead of princes, still retain their royal status. Common labor is equated with oppression, especially domestic chores.
In the feminist-influenced films, the heroines get to challenge long-standing customs. In the end, they overcome resistance and have everything their way. The anachronistic feminists (butch in a couple of cases) don’t incur lasting consequences to their social standing. Neither are there any other long-term ill effects on their lives for defying tradition.
It gets worse
Beauty and the Beast is the most insidious of the princess movies. Sure, “love conquers all” is a nice-sounding message. Still, what happens if you try to run the script in real life? If, for example, someone tries to use true love to turn an unemployed alcoholic into a handsome prince, the usual result is not a magical adventure. Instead, that means escaping to the women’s shelter after one too many black eyes. It’s the same problem as Wuthering Heights, another notorious item of Stockholm Syndrome fiction.
Brave is another notable offender, though for different and more complex reasons. It’s the first princess movie to question the institution of marriage; whereas the others merely suffered from instilling unrealistic expectations. All of the heroine’s suitors looked like dorks, which surely was meant to reinforce the message the screenwriters were intending to make. That’s the difference between adolescent boys and girls. The girls quickly will blossom into their peak maidenly beauty. At the time, boys look pretty dorky for the next few years, before they slowly start to look manly.
Sure, the plot will strike a chord: “Poor Merida – pressured into getting married early, and she doesn’t even get to pick the guy!” Indeed, that much is understandable. Still, strange results are to be expected if one applies modern sensibilities to medieval settings. (It’s sort of like the “Oh shit!” moment when you realize that your favorite ancient philosopher or theologian didn’t object to slavery.) In the real world, dynastic marriages for royal families were an essential means to hold alliances together. This carried on up until monarchy became obsolete, but throwing tradition out the window would’ve been impossible before then. Dynastic marriage was the one duty expected of princesses, a tradeoff for having the most pampered and carefree existence of anyone in the realm.
The notion of arranged marriages seems very out of step in modern times, unless you’re from India where this is the norm. (Americans have a divorce rate ten times higher than they do. Maybe they know something we don’t?) Still, that’s how things rolled in Europe too back in the day, and it worked pretty well for them. It wasn’t until the Renaissance that people started getting married for love. Moreover, it wasn’t until the Sexual Revolution that young women were able to ride the Cock Carousel without social penalty. Does all that screwing around help to test for long-term compatibility – maximal choices, lots of data points, “try before you buy”? Once again, our divorce rate speaks volumes.
Anyway, the butch princess gets everything her way in the end, but things could’ve gone a lot worse. Merida’s refusal to follow customs threatened to disrupt the fragile peace with the neighboring tribes. At no point did she seem to care that a lot of people might get killed because of that. Everything was all about her! (This is one of the things that’s wrong with feminism, of course.) Here’s how I would’ve handled the plot if I’d been the screenwriter.
“Okay, so you don’t want to do the one thing that’s expected of you as a princess. That’s totally cool; you can be a peasant instead. I’ll give you a churn, spinning wheel, loom, washtub, broom, and a stove to help you get started. If that’s too girly for your tastes, I can get you an anvil, hammer, and furnace.”
What messages do princess movies convey to girls?
Those films seem like pretty wholesome fare. Actually, they certainly are, if compared to former Mouseketeers turned pop divas getting lewd on stage. Even so, the princess movies do contain some rather faulty underlying messages. Little girls are the main target audience. One needn’t be Sigmund Freud – or his nephew, the advertising pioneer and propagandist Edward Bernays – to understand the imprinting effect of messages like this delivered at an early age.
When adult women read a romance novel, or trash like 50 Shades of Grey, they should be able to realize that the book is escapist wish fulfillment. Not every potential boyfriend will be a billionaire who looks like an underwear model and has a case of narcissistic personality disorder that the ladies find so appealing. They should understand that. However, “should” and five bucks will get you a cheeseburger. Chick porn like that, along with chick flicks – what they watch after they’re too old for princess movies – can contribute to unrealistic expectations. It’s much like what visual porn does to guys.
It’s worse when messages that might lead to unrealistic expectations are aimed at little girls. The target audience is at the age where they still believe in the Easter Bunny, or not far beyond that. Little kids don’t have much of a bullshit filter. Obviously the girls are meant to identify with the protagonists as role models, imagining that things will be like that when they too are teenagers. At a young age, they might internalize messages like this:
You’re a princess by birthright. If your parents aren’t royalty, maybe they’re not your real parents and are oppressing you.
Even if you’re definitely a commoner, social climbing via marriage is a great way to fix that problem and attain princess status.
All girls deserve a rich guy so they can be spoiled perpetually, whether or not they bring much to the table themselves. Of course, he must be good looking too.
If you choose a handsome rogue instead, that’s empowerment. No bad consequences will come to you for running with criminals.
True love can do anything, including fixing someone else’s personality defects.
Labor is definitely beneath you, especially chores like washing dishes. That’s for servants.
It’s always right to defy any social standards you don’t like. Gender roles especially have no reason to exist. Do whatever you consider personally rewarding; that will never negatively affect your personal outcome.
In short, you deserve nothing in life other than the very best. Since you’re not a peasant, hardships are always temporary and can be overcome with a cool adventure.
You always can count on the assistance of talking animals, supernatural beings like fairy godmothers, noble family members you didn’t realize you had, and handsome princes willing to fight to the death for you.
What are the effects on boys who watch this stuff?
Boys will get some different messages:
Girls will like you, as long as you’re a handsome prince, or a handsome rogue. (There is some truth in this.)
You must do anything for the spoiled princess, including risking your life.
Opting out of gender roles – like the one above – isn’t in the script for you.
The more that you do for girls, the more they’ll appreciate you in the end. (And I have a bridge for sale in Brooklyn.)
It’s no wonder why boys prefer action and adventure movies over princess movies, now isn’t it? Fortunately, the former usually have better character development.
What’s the matter with this?
Simply put, the world does not work this way. Here are some facts contrary to what little girls learn from these movies. These are harsh, but the truth hurts.
Most people are ordinary commoners, fairly average. (Even those who are exceptional need to do more than have an adventure and rest on their laurels.)
Average men indeed are good enough for average women. Shocking, isn’t it?
Someone who refuses to settle for anyone other than a millionaire or a celebrity is a lazy gold digger. Instead of getting a handsome prince, those with impossible standards probably will get pumped and dumped a lot, and later in life end up all alone and very disappointed.
Rich guys sometimes have bald spots or pot bellies or might be less than six feet tall. (Who knew, right?) Some have short tempers or big egos, especially the trust fund kids. Those who’ve made their own money usually have to work very long hours.
Women who chase criminals are gun molls. They certainly don’t live happily ever after.
True love is great, but it doesn’t do everything, and it certainly can’t cure someone else’s mental problems, addictions, atrocious behavior, etc.
Being lazy is not a virtue. Unless you can afford a maid, you’d better learn how to clean up your own place, or you’ll be the next star on Hoarders.
Social standards usually exist for a reason. Traditions become traditions because they work. Ignore this at your peril.
If the fantasy / wish fulfillment concept of how the world works isn’t mitigated by realism by the time they’re adults, a condition known as Princess Complex will develop. Urban Dictionary defines this term as:
An attitude fed to women by the media and other females that bestows upon them illusions of superiority and selfishness. Also brought on to many attractive females over time by means of many males who have ventured into the friend zone by catering to the respective female’s every beck and call.
Another defines this as:
As children girls are told stories about knights who save princesses and exist to serve them. They internalize these stories and imagine themselves as princesses. As they grow older they expect every single man they are involved with to play the part of the prince, and many men enable this delusion. This is a culturally enforced narcissistic delusion, that causes women to expect praise and special favors. This will only end when men raise up and hand women a dose of reality. Stop paying for her dates, and stop telling her she’s special.
Feminist Entitlement is the conviction that women are owed something by the virtue of their gender. It is the belief structure that tells women they deserve to have their whims catered to both culturally and interpersonally. One of the most harmful aspects of Feminist Entitlement is the belief that feminists have a right to use and view women both as tools and victims.
Wrapping things up, you need to keep track of what your kids are watching. Too many of the wrong messages might encourage your little ones to be spoiled brats who think the universe rotates around their egos. Again, these movies aren’t as poisonous as some of the stuff on the idiot box lately. Still, if they do watch these films – or others like them – it’s a good idea to have a discussion with them to explain that not everyone gets to be a princess.
After years of wondering if I could ever be intimate with another man, I decided to hook up with a dude my freshman year of college.
Looks like he demonstrated that he was capable of doing so. Proof of concept, right? Well, there’s a lot more to the article than that, of course.
The problem was that he was so drunk that he threw up during the hookup. What a way to kill the mood! One would think that would’ve scared both of them straight, but apparently not! The only good news is that he’s a guy; if he’d been a chick, the other dude would’ve had to worry about getting a false rape accusation. If you drive drunk, you’re responsible for your actions; if you hook up drunk, it’s completely different as long as you’re female.
The article offers helpful tips for guys who want to do what he did – presumably without relying as much on Dutch courage. One thing that’s oddly missing is a clear warning that you shouldn’t drink ’till you spew during a hot date. This is the closest the article comes to that:
After the experience, I could not tell you if I was gay or bi. Overall, the experience was “meh,” like any really sloppy, drunken hookup regardless of gender.
Pro tip: If you’re a dude and you’re turned on by both dudes and chicks, you’re bisexual. If you’re only turned on by dudes, you’re gay. If you know the difference between teal and aqua, you have an unusual fascination for gladiator movies, or can suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch, then you’re probably fruity to one degree or another. This stuff isn’t rocket science.
Anyway, here’s the highlights of rest of the advice.
1. Start with porn.
Actually, starting with porn is excellent advice if you no longer want to be a boring old straight guy. If you’re jerkin’ the gherkin until it turns blue, you might be doing strangethingstoyourarousaltemplate. There are numerous anecdotal accounts about straight porn addicts starting to look at gay stuff after the regular beat-off material loses its sparkle. Heck there are far weirder things too – tentacle porn makes giving another guy a BJ seem pretty tame. This is a small part of the tolerance phenomenon, which Nofap describes here:
In a pornography addiction, tolerance seems to build when a user needs to look at more porn, more novel porn, more intense porn, or a combination of these in order to satisfy themselves. This is where pornography addiction gets dangerous.
If an addict builds up a tolerance to porn, he may need it more abundantly. Just spending 10 minutes cruising porn sites may not be enough, and he will begin spending more and more time with porn until it begins cutting into his career or family life.
Or he may need porn that is progressively more novel, searching for videos with actresses and sexual acts he’s never before seen. Many porn addicts on NoFap report shock when they realize that a certain kink or fetish they once found stomach-turning is now the only thing that can get them off. The addictive quest for novelty in porn has lead some porn addicts to search for extreme, taboo and even illegal material.
So go ahead and choke that chicken for hours on end, day after day, and eventually you’ll be up for banging anything! That is, if you can still get it up after all that overuse, but that’s another porn problem entirely.
2. Move to apps and chat rooms.
Men’s Health recommends:
It allows you the opportunity to engage with other men sexually without doing anything IRL. (Grindr and Scruff are two good apps to use.)
Men’s Health really knows what’s good for men, so what the hell – I signed up for Grindr. Woo hoo! It’s going to be BJ City here! I can’t wait to pack some fudge too! I’m sure my girlfriends will be a little surprised when I switch to “the love that dare not speak its name”, but that’s their problem to deal with! My GRINDR app just sent me another invite for an Oscars party, how about that! Damn, why didn’t I get results like this when I was trying to find chicks on OKCupid?
Anyway, the article doesn’t say too much about safe sex and – again – these guys really know what they’re talking about and what’s good for men. Since they didn’t mention anything about that, I guess we don’t have to worry about condoms these days, right?
3. Have a bisexual MMF threesome.
If after watching some bi/gay porn and talking to some dudes on apps/chat rooms, you’re thinking to yourself, alright, I think I could potentially be into this, it might be time to consider having a threesome with a woman and another man.
Great idea! I’ll head right over to the nearby biker bar and try the following pickup line: “I’ll bet you’re bi too. How about we tag-team your girlfriend?” For those who’ve watched enough porn by now to think that’s an awesome idea, Men’s Health has a helpful article linked below called “I Can’t Stop Having Devil’s Threesomes”.
4. Work on reducing internalized shame.
Exploring bi-curiosity isn’t just getting out there and doing it with another guy. “It’s important for men to understand that we live in sex-phobic and homophobic culture that helps shape what we see as possible for ourselves and our desires,” says Jor-El.
Is Jor-El from the planet Krypton or something? Being gay wasn’t such a huge big deal by the 1970s. It was still somewhat controversial, but far less so by the 1990s. As for now, being gay means you’re special and unique, so start watching more gay porn and sign up for gay hookup apps!
As for those who say that American culture is sex-negative, have they seen any movies lately, or turned on the radio or TV? The only places you can’t “let it all hang out” are at work or at church.
5. Educate yourself.
Instead of discussing how we come to form our sexual identity, some sex-ed classes never get beyond condoms on cucumbers—or teach abstinence-only curriculum.
6. Recognize you might not have a big “aha” moment.
I thought I was going to have this big “aha” moment. I’d kiss his lips and immediately realize, “Woah… I’m gay. I’ve never felt like this when I’ve been with women.” Or it would become crystal clear I definitely wasn’t into men. Neither happened. In fact, I came to the conclusion after the experience that I was straight, and it took me another five years of hooking up with men to embrace the fact that I am bisexual.
He banged dudes for five years before he figured out he was bi? I’d say that if you go back for seconds, that’s a pretty good proof of concept that you’re at least a switch hitter.
7. Talk to a therapist.
“With a LGBTQ+ affirming therapist, you can talk through aspects of your sexuality that seem daunting or frightening to deal with on your own,” Joe-El says.
“Doc, I think I might be gay.”
“Are you turned on by men?”
“Yeah.”
“Yes, you’re queer. That’ll be $90 please.”
8. You can try it, not like it, and you’re still straight.
You fear that rumors surrounding your sexuality will haunt you for the rest of your life, but here’s the truth about experimenting: If you come to the conclusion after hooking up with a guy that you’re straight, then you are just as straight as a dude who’s never experimented. One sexual act does not define your entire identity. Period.
You know what? On second thought, I’ve decided that I’m going to ignore what Men’s Health is telling me to do. Experimenting with homosexuality sounds like it inherently sucks and is a pain in the ass. I think I’ll just delete my GRINDR account and go back to watching gladiator movies.
rainbowalbrecht 