It’s official. The price of nookie has become unsustainable, at least in the USA. I had a crazy idea a little while back. This was to go one of the brothels in Nevada and get a tasteful picture of me kissing one of the ladies on the cheek, that’s all, everyone’s clothes stay on. After that, I’d grab a beer at the bar, buy a commemorative shotglass, and be on my way.
I saw a YouTube video with a hooker who works at one of those places, and she dropped her email. (I’ll just say she’s a short redhead.) I wrote, and a cute blonde wrote back. The short redhead got a job somewhere else, but maybe I was still interested in doing business. I replied to the blonde, repeating what I had in mind. Unfortunately, it seems she didn’t read my brief note. She wrote back with a form letter. I’ll have to give her credit – this was the most charming form letter I’ve seen. Part of it included the following:
I’m not allowed to discuss prices over email because of Nevada law, but I can help it be a little less mysterious. Full encounters with me start in the lower four figures, hours are lower to mid four figures depending on the activity, outdates where we leave [redacted] for a few hours are mid to high four figures, and overnight stays are in the lower five figures. I really can’t be any more specific than that without breaking the law, but you should know that I’m not generally into focusing on time other than that I’m all about you having the time of your life. This is about our adventure, not how many hours or minutes we have to explore the reason for your visit. When time enters into that equation, we’ll talk about it like any other part of what we’d like to do.
Oh dear – where do I even begin? All I was looking for was a cute but tasteful picture. So let me extrapolate here – if a half hour bang goes for “in the lower four figures”, then five minutes of time for a very brief photo shoot would perhaps be $200. I’d consider a $20 tip to be a fair price. I’d even go for $40, based on what performers on the Vegas strip want for a photo op. As for any more than that, sorry, I don’t have “sucker” written on my forehead.
I don’t care for prostitution, but suppose I did want to get laid? I like to savor the moment, and a quickie wouldn’t do. That’s especially if I’m flying to Vegas or Reno and renting a car to drive to Bum Fuck, Egypt where these places are. Again, a one hour bang would be “lower to mid four figures depending on the activity”. I suppose this actually means $3-6K, in which the larger number would apply if I’m poking the no-no hole or something.
What else could I do with that kind of swag? I could fly to Barcelona instead and bang lots of “hello Sailor” girls by the docks on Las Ramblas. I could fly to Amsterdam and party in lots of those red cubicles they have downtown. Then there’s Thailand – not my type, but this is a thought experiment anyway. For the price of a one hour bang in Nevada, I could have a vacation abroad instead, including much more of the same thing. I’m not recommending sex tourism; I’m just looking into the obvious economics of this, and these chicas are muy loca. Also, I could buy two or three ounces of gold for that ballpark figure.
Who can afford rates like that anyway, except maybe that douche-canoe Charlie Sheen? Apparently there’s a sucker born every minute. Later I found out that the cute redhead rakes in a million dollars a year, selling her ass in Nevada. That’s about three times what the average cardiovascular surgeon makes, I kid you not. Hey, feminists – what’s that you were saying about male privilege again?