In defense of seduction

Much is going on with me.

  • I’m wanting to put more stories out there.  One of them is a fantasy novel very close to completion, among others in the pipeline.  Unfortunately, I’m suffering from a moderate case of writer’s block.
  • Drama, drama, drama.  Film at 11.
  • I’m rather astounded by the various attempts by the powers-that-be to control information and criminalize thought, but that one is a political rant for another day.
  • I just finished Portnoy’s Complaint, lauded as a timeless classic of American literature.  I’m not sure what’s more shocking – the amount of horror inflicted on my psyche by this 100 page rant largely about masturbation and cultural resentments, or the thought of all these critics reading it and thinking, “This is so brilliant!  I can totally relate to it!”

Anyway, for now I’ll attempt to warm up my writing chops about the necessity of learning seduction – “game” as some call it – and pickup artistry by others.  There are some fine distinctons in these categories, but I’ll spare you the hair-splitting here.  By seduction, I mean the fairly new genre of non-traditional dating advice geared toward men.  I saw a discussion about it on a political website, and although the article was mildly in favor, some comments showed that there was quite a bit of ignorance about the subject even for a rather iconoclastic reader base.

So let’s get down to business.  Once upon a time, a man with a decent income and good character would – by default – be considered a hot prospect.  This eligible bachelor wouldn’t have too much trouble finding a young lady who liked him.  After demonstrating his good character and providership – often with poems, flowers, and gifts – he would win her heart, and after a few months of courtship, walk down the aisle and exchange vows at the altar.  Thereupon, they would go on a honeymoon, lose their virginity together, buy their dream home, raise two or three kids, and live happily ever after.

Then, back in the ’60s, Pandora’s box opened up.  Part of this was the sexual revolution and radical feminism.  What were the results?  Among many items, these days there is a Pareto distribution where 80% of women are competing for the top 20% of men.  The sexual revolution is thought of as a big free-for-all, but in reality, only one in five guys are invited to the party.  That leaves a lot of lonely young men out there!  Granted, these are pretty big assertions on my part, though I describe all this in much more detail in my latest book, connecting the dots and explaining how all this developed.  I’ll admit I’m long-winded about that, but the public deserves to know how our social scene got so dysfunctional.

What’s interesting is that a lot of the guys in the “top” category aren’t exactly rich, famous, exceptionally good-looking, or any of the other things you might expect.  Do you know an ordinary guy who has had dozens of girlfriends but you have no earthly idea how he does it, or ever seen some knucklehead with a hottie?  The answer to that paradox is that those guys have the information edge – they know what works!

These days, a man with a decent income and good character is left out in the cold.  Being average just isn’t enough any more, even when trying to find an average woman.  As for attracting someone with poems, flowers, and gifts, all that is deader than disco.  Personally, I think it sucks that this system leaves 80% of guys out in the cold.  I used to be one of them, before I started figuring things out.  There’s that information edge again!  I’m tall, fairly good-looking, well-read, educated, and I work hard – but my love life was pretty hit-and-miss until I got a lot of painful experiences under my belt.  Studying what works and what doesn’t is a way to skip past that part.

Basically, it’s not your great grandfather’s social environment any more.  However, the nostrums from that era are still around as conventional dating advice; if you’re using that playbook, you’re at a big disadvantage.  Other misinformation comes from Hollywood conventions that work as drama but will fail in real life – sometimes epically.  Also, there are the feminists telling men how to act.  For example, the party line is that women don’t like men who act masculine.  Reality check – how many “sensitive New Age guys” do you know who happen to be babe magnets?  Finally, with all the fatherless homes out there, we have a loss of tribal knowledge, of course among other distressing factors.  The end result of all this is that many guys out there have no idea how to interact with women, and really do need things spelled out in detail before they can get better at it.  Either that, or they can go the conventional route of getting shot down countless times before they figure things out.  In the mating game, knowing the right protocol is critical.  One mistake will cost you, and there are innumerable ways to screw up.  If you’re going out in the field loaded with inaccurate information, it’s like bringing a knife to a gunfight.

Actually, some conventional advice is way off-course.  For instance, if you think that attraction is some magical thing that just happens, you’ve bought into a Disney myth; that’s not how it really works.  What works and what doesn’t is sometimes very counterintuitive.  As an example, being ultra-sweet, super-nice, very accommodating, or supplicative (“kissing ass” or other forms of self-abasement) isn’t the way into anyone’s heart; actually, that’s a huge turn-off.  Going to the opposite extreme isn’t the object, either; in fact, I wax philosophical about the importance of balance.

Thus far, the seduction community is the only group out there giving the masses of men accurate information about these subjects.  By helping men get better with women, we are alleviating soul-crushing loneliness and spreading the love.  I go further than most, and show how Red Pill principles can help develop successful relationships.

Unfortunately, the conventional reaction to the seduction community has been pretty negative.  Basically, the party line is that seduction knowledge is manipulative, sneaky, unethical, disrespectful to women, all about meaningless promiscuity, blah blah blah, and the catch-all floating abstraction of “creeeepy”.  The seduction community has given itself a little bit of bad publicity at times, for example the flashier aspects of some PUAs, as well as sometimes being a little less than diplomatic about how we phrase things (we’re not exactly out to be crowd-pleasers).  The dating coach David D. likened it to locker room talk, basically not intended for all audiences.  An even greater factor is public ignorance about the subject.  Still, likely the greatest part of the negative reaction is about the denigration of male sexuality, one of many effects of radical feminism.  All this is one small part of the information control I mentioned.

In summary, you’re not supposed to learn how the game is really played so you can get into the 20% club!  I say to hell with that.  Being lonely is miserable.  Getting the information edge will fix that.  As things are now, the modern dating environment is very screwed up.  Guys these days need all the help we can get, and you deserve to know what works and what doesn’t.  As I explain in my book, basic seduction knowledge involves:

  • How to get the confidence to put yourself out there, even if bad past experiences have made you so shy that even the thought of talking to a woman fills you with dread;
  • Improving your appearance to make you a hotter commodity;
  • Self-improvement to make your personality more attractive, make your conversations more interesting, and make you a better person overall;
  • Insights to understand what women want, so that you can become more appealing;
  • Knowledge of what women don’t want, so you can avoid turn-offs such as acting needy, desperate, awkward, frightening, unpleasant, etc.; and
  • Tips on navigating the social scene, along with its thrusts, dodges, and parries of dialogue.

Yep, these are these terrible secrets you’re not supposed to know!  Any good book on seduction that covers the overall picture (rather than focusing on one specific aspect) will go over the foregoing, though typically explaining them in different ways, according to the various schools of thought.  You’ll notice that magazines like Cosmo cover many of the same things for women every month, in fact.  There’s nothing wrong with that, now is there?  I certainly don’t get a case of the vapors when I read a headline at the checkout stand saying, “How to get your man to do X“.  It’s quite silly that there’s a taboo about information geared toward men.  If you need help, then by all means get some!  Either read my book, or one of the other high-quality ones out there.  You can go to a class if it’s in your budget.  Don’t let other people choose what you are and aren’t allowed to learn about.

In defense of seduction