What would happen if everything in Clown World was exactly the opposite?

We live in a pretty crazy world right now:  irresponsible politicians, degeneracy, coteries of sneaky plutocrats who think they deserve to run the world, the list goes on…  As an illustration of just how nutty things are, let’s imagine for a moment how the world would look if things became exactly the opposite overnight.

Note well, this doesn’t mean that I advocate exactly this.  My positions on some things are more moderate than my humorous take here.  Mainly this is to illustrate how absurd things are now.

#MeToo

nolo me fabulare2

New hashtags emerge, called #FalselyAccusedToo, #LiesForAttentionAndProfit, and #PoliceReportOrItDidn’tHappen.  Victims of bunny boilers speak out, encouraged by men filled with righteous rage.  False accusers are vilified and lose their jobs.  Drama queens who’ve merely spread idle gossip now live in fear that trivial trash-talking incidents from years ago will blow up in their faces.

Meanwhile:  Anyone who says “somebody patted my thigh” years ago either will be ignored, scoffed at, or told that the incident should’ve been regarded as an educational experience.

The gay agenda

drag queen with kids 1

Gays stop rubbing the public’s nose in their lifestyle, because they recognize that anyone who isn’t gay thinks it’s pretty gross when two men bang.  They resolve to keep bedroom stuff in the bedroom.  They make no demands to accommodate them.  Further, they deeply appreciate “breeders” who raise the next generation and keep society moving forward in time.

As for heterosexuals, they aren’t merely considered to be average citizens.  Instead, after coming out straight, they’re made to feel extraordinary and special and welcomed into the straight community.  Large corporations have heterosexual clubs and give them constant adulation.

Meanwhile:  For any gays who demand that the moral values of their small community should take precedence over those of everyone else, they’ll get shouted down and called “heterophobes”.

Mass migration

illegals imageedit_1751_40621206981-574x323

In every Western country, the major rightist party will begin a program to resettle incompatible migrants back to their place of origin.  The major leftist party claims that they object to this.  However, even when they’re in power, they never lift a finger to stop the flood of repatriation.  Meanwhile, the elites of the country will consider this resettlement to be a number one priority.

Meanwhile:  Anyone who argues for open borders will be denounced as an evil extremist.

The United Nations

No Clown World

The UN – “an irrelevant talking-shop for Third World dictators and their European apologists” – disbands after contritely recognizing its sordid history of corruption, worsening problems, and abject failure.  Its building is converted into low-rent housing.  The only vestige of internationalism is peace conferences and negotiations held by teleconference.  Getting rid of the corrupt den of cookie pushers saves billions a year.

Meanwhile:  Anyone who has ambitions to erode the sovereignty of nations, destroy diversity in the name of diversity, micromanage families, drag the USA into other people’s fights, and other hubristic plans will be told to piss up a rope.

Online censorship

Viva Pinochet

Multibillion dollar corporations hire teams of lawyers to write terms of service that forbid expressions of cultural Marxism.  The legalese defines it in the vaguest way possible, giving their teams of right wing censors complete discretion to decide what does or doesn’t constitute cultural Marxism.  They write programs that ban their customers if they’re detected talking online about “intersectionality”, “toxic masculinity”, pro-globalist sentiments, etc. etc. etc.  According to the TOS, customers who file a lawsuit if they get deplatformed for being leftists will recover merely whatever their last annual service payment was, or if it was free, then at most a dollar.

Meanwhile:  Realizing their strategic error, leftists start supporting freedom of speech again like they used to do before the 1990s.  However, nobody can see their arguments because they’ve been thrown off of the Internet.

Democracy

Soros pouting 4-19-18-1
Oh, shit!  The peasants got wise to me!

The people get sick of the “New World Order” types who pull strings behind the scenes for both political parties.  They demand reforms, and terrified politicians institute legislature to get big money influences out of politics.

Meanwhile:  Those guilty of subverting governments see mobs advancing toward their gated communities with torches and pitchforks.  They beg for the police to come and arrest them for treason.  At least they’ll have their day in court, rather than become lamppost ornaments by midnight.

“Watchdog” foundations

NPC orange man bad newsroom 5e7107f

The John Birch Society receives hundreds of millions of dollars in donations.  Law enforcement agencies consult it as an authority on the Red Menace.  The John Birch Society begins compiling extensive lists of leftist groups and their members.  Even Greenpeace gets outed as a front group.  Anyone who was discovered to have worn a St. Che T-shirt back in college goes on the shit list too.

Meanwhile:  The ADL and $PLC are regarded as kooky extremists.  They don’t get a scrap of free publicity from the media.

Feminism

spank
Feminist getting deprogrammed

Society is run with the premise that women and men should get along together.  Countless foundations, private organizations, media figures, and celebrities encourage girls and women to follow traditional lifestyles and act ladylike.  New “housewife studies” departments open up in universities across the country to encourage marital harmony, discourage retail therapy and running up the credit cards, explain the importance of having at least two children, instruct about cooking and cleaning, and give tips on staying physically fit after marriage.

Meanwhile:  Women’s studies departments get re-purposed.  Typical field trips for studying women include visits to the beach with binoculars and wet T-shirt contests.

What would happen if everything in Clown World was exactly the opposite?

Men’s Health encourages men to explore bisexuality

Men’s Health has released what might be one of their most unintentionally funny articles ever, “So You’re Feeling a Little Bicurious. We’re Here to Help!”  It begins:

After years of wondering if I could ever be intimate with another man, I decided to hook up with a dude my freshman year of college.

Looks like he demonstrated that he was capable of doing so.  Proof of concept, right?  Well, there’s a lot more to the article than that, of course.

The problem was that he was so drunk that he threw up during the hookup.  What a way to kill the mood!  One would think that would’ve scared both of them straight, but apparently not!  The only good news is that he’s a guy; if he’d been a chick, the other dude would’ve had to worry about getting a false rape accusation.  If you drive drunk, you’re responsible for your actions; if you hook up drunk, it’s completely different as long as you’re female.

The article offers helpful tips for guys who want to do what he did – presumably without relying as much on Dutch courage.  One thing that’s oddly missing is a clear warning that you shouldn’t drink ’till you spew during a hot date.  This is the closest the article comes to that:

After the experience, I could not tell you if I was gay or bi. Overall, the experience was “meh,” like any really sloppy, drunken hookup regardless of gender.

Pro tip:  If you’re a dude and you’re turned on by both dudes and chicks, you’re bisexual.  If you’re only turned on by dudes, you’re gay.  If you know the difference between teal and aqua, you have an unusual fascination for gladiator movies, or can suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch, then you’re probably fruity to one degree or another.  This stuff isn’t rocket science.

Anyway, here’s the highlights of rest of the advice.

1. Start with porn.

Actually, starting with porn is excellent advice if you no longer want to be a boring old straight guy.  If you’re jerkin’ the gherkin until it turns blue, you might be doing strange things to your arousal template.  There are numerous anecdotal accounts about straight porn addicts starting to look at gay stuff after the regular beat-off material loses its sparkle.  Heck there are far weirder things too – tentacle porn makes giving another guy a BJ seem pretty tame.  This is a small part of the tolerance phenomenon, which Nofap describes here:

In a pornography addiction, tolerance seems to build when a user needs to look at more porn, more novel porn, more intense porn, or a combination of these in order to satisfy themselves. This is where pornography addiction gets dangerous.

If an addict builds up a tolerance to porn, he may need it more abundantly. Just spending 10 minutes cruising porn sites may not be enough, and he will begin spending more and more time with porn until it begins cutting into his career or family life.

Or he may need porn that is progressively more novel, searching for videos with actresses and sexual acts he’s never before seen. Many porn addicts on NoFap report shock when they realize that a certain kink or fetish they once found stomach-turning is now the only thing that can get them off. The addictive quest for novelty in porn has lead some porn addicts to search for extreme, taboo and even illegal material.

So go ahead and choke that chicken for hours on end, day after day, and eventually you’ll be up for banging anything!  That is, if you can still get it up after all that overuse, but that’s another porn problem entirely.

2. Move to apps and chat rooms.

Men’s Health recommends:

It allows you the opportunity to engage with other men sexually without doing anything IRL. (Grindr and Scruff are two good apps to use.)

Men’s Health really knows what’s good for men, so what the hell – I signed up for Grindr.  Woo hoo!  It’s going to be BJ City here!  I can’t wait to pack some fudge too!  I’m sure my girlfriends will be a little surprised when I switch to “the love that dare not speak its name”, but that’s their problem to deal with!  My GRINDR app just sent me another invite for an Oscars party, how about that!  Damn, why didn’t I get results like this when I was trying to find chicks on OKCupid?

Anyway, the article doesn’t say too much about safe sex and – again – these guys really know what they’re talking about and what’s good for men.  Since they didn’t mention anything about that, I guess we don’t have to worry about condoms these days, right?

3. Have a bisexual MMF threesome.

If after watching some bi/gay porn and talking to some dudes on apps/chat rooms, you’re thinking to yourself, alright, I think I could potentially be into this, it might be time to consider having a threesome with a woman and another man.

Great idea!  I’ll head right over to the nearby biker bar and try the following pickup line:  “I’ll bet you’re bi too.  How about we tag-team your girlfriend?”  For those who’ve watched enough porn by now to think that’s an awesome idea, Men’s Health has a helpful article linked below called “I Can’t Stop Having Devil’s Threesomes”.

4. Work on reducing internalized shame.

Exploring bi-curiosity isn’t just getting out there and doing it with another guy. “It’s important for men to understand that we live in sex-phobic and homophobic culture that helps shape what we see as possible for ourselves and our desires,” says Jor-El.

Is Jor-El from the planet Krypton or something?  Being gay wasn’t such a huge big deal by the 1970s.  It was still somewhat controversial, but far less so by the 1990s.  As for now, being gay means you’re special and unique, so start watching more gay porn and sign up for gay hookup apps!

As for those who say that American culture is sex-negative, have they seen any movies lately, or turned on the radio or TV?  The only places you can’t “let it all hang out” are at work or at church.

5. Educate yourself.

Instead of discussing how we come to form our sexual identity, some sex-ed classes never get beyond condoms on cucumbers—or teach abstinence-only curriculum.

Problem? What problem?

6. Recognize you might not have a big “aha” moment.

I thought I was going to have this big “aha” moment. I’d kiss his lips and immediately realize, “Woah… I’m gay. I’ve never felt like this when I’ve been with women.” Or it would become crystal clear I definitely wasn’t into men. Neither happened. In fact, I came to the conclusion after the experience that I was straight, and it took me another five years of hooking up with men to embrace the fact that I am bisexual.

He banged dudes for five years before he figured out he was bi?  I’d say that if you go back for seconds, that’s a pretty good proof of concept that you’re at least a switch hitter.

7. Talk to a therapist.

“With a LGBTQ+ affirming therapist, you can talk through aspects of your sexuality that seem daunting or frightening to deal with on your own,” Joe-El says.

“Doc, I think I might be gay.”
“Are you turned on by men?”
“Yeah.”
“Yes, you’re queer.  That’ll be $90 please.”

8. You can try it, not like it, and you’re still straight.

You fear that rumors surrounding your sexuality will haunt you for the rest of your life, but here’s the truth about experimenting: If you come to the conclusion after hooking up with a guy that you’re straight, then you are just as straight as a dude who’s never experimented. One sexual act does not define your entire identity. Period.

You know what?  On second thought, I’ve decided that I’m going to ignore what Men’s Health is telling me to do.  Experimenting with homosexuality sounds like it inherently sucks and is a pain in the ass.  I think I’ll just delete my GRINDR account and go back to watching gladiator movies.

Men’s Health encourages men to explore bisexuality

If political parties were sodas

Let’s pretend that political parties were brands of soda.  The following is just a funny thought experiment and doesn’t imply actual views held by specific soda manufacturers.  Neither is it an accurate description of the flavors of their products.  That said, let’s begin!

In the USA, Coke and Pepsi have been around well over a century, and have been in fierce competition for market share.  They say they’re very different, but as soon as the soda goes in the glass, it’s obvious that they taste nearly the same.  As it happens, the majority shareholders who fund the operations of Coca-Cola are also the majority shareholders in Pepsi.  Coincidence?

They do have a few competitors, like RC, Red Bull, and Moxie, but they never really get anywhere.  RC does the best of these “Third Soda” brands.  They say they’re closest to the soda made back in the old days, but their flavor is boring and seems watered down.  Red Bull has a powerful flavor but tastes weird and is bad for you in large doses.  Red Bull fans want it to be the official soda sanctioned by the government, and nobody will be allowed to drink other brands.  Moxie has a powerful flavor too, very sharp and clear.  It takes some getting used to at first, but then it turns out that they’re everything the other brands are not.  Coke and Pepsi fear Moxie more than each other.

For some odd reason, with each decade, Pepsi tastes a little more like Red Bull.  Those two companies always have been fairly friendly.  Also oddly, Coke always tastes like last decade’s Pepsi.  That doesn’t make Pepsi drinkers want to switch to Coke; they keep on drinking Pepsi like they always did.  Seventy years ago, Coke used to taste like a milder version of Moxie.  Then former Pepsi executives started working for Coca-Cola, eventually becoming the majority on the Board of Directors about thirty years ago.

When Moxie fans point out that the leading sodas have unhealthy ingredients, everyone else tries to shout them down.  When RC fans say the same things about other brands, nobody pays any attention.  Moxie fans have lively debates about whether or not they should even display their own brand’s emblem.  Red Bull fans don’t have that problem, luckily for them.  Their brand is heavily promoted to college students, and it’s hard to find a university that doesn’t have Red Bull monopoly on campus.

Other countries have similar arrangements.  Britain has a “three soda system”, in contrast to the USA’s “two soda system”.  RC is about as popular as Coke and Pepsi, but there, it tastes little different from the others.  They’re all equally unhealthy too.  In Germany, technically you’re not allowed to have Red Bull, so they just renamed it Pink Bull and nobody cares otherwise.  You’re definitely not allowed to have Moxie, and you can get thrown in jail if you say that things were better back when Moxie had a soda monopoly.  Russia used to have a Red Bull monopoly for a long time, but their head honcho owns Shasta, so Shasta it is.

As for the USA’s head honcho, he was from Coca-Cola.  Very strangely, most of the top Coca-Cola executives tried their utmost to sabotage him.  Pepsi executives don’t like him any better, of course.  They work together to make sure he never can make changes to the flavor.  Pepsi further accuses him of being a secret agent, though they can’t seem to figure out if it’s for Moxie or for Shasta.

If political parties were sodas

Black Friday stocking stuffer “Santa Claws”

Xmas season is upon us, and we know what that’s all about – SHOPPING!!!  (Yes, I’m being ironic and tongue-in-cheek all throughout, but work with me here.)  Well, why not give your loved ones the gift of poetry, one commemorating this joyous season of commerce?

It’s a poem about Santa Claus, the deity honored by Xmas, though his name is spelled a little creatively here.  The author is the groundbreaking poet Ted Joans.

Who was Ted Joans?

To find out a little more about this celebrated figure of the arts, let’s turn to Wikipedia, the trustworthy and oh-so-NPOV ultimate repository of human knowledge.  Retrieved 11/29/2019, it begins:

Theodore “Ted” Joans (July 4, 1928 – April 25, 2003) was an American jazz poet, surrealist, trumpeter, and painter. His work stands at the intersection of several avant-garde streams and some have seen in it a precursor to the orality of the spoken-word movement.

Cool deal!  Maybe he’s like Keats or Wordsworth or Longfellow?  A little further down:

While he ceased playing the trumpet he maintained a jazz sensibility in the reading of his poems and frequently collaborated with musicians. He continued to travel and maintained an active correspondence with a host of creative individuals, among them Langston Hughes, Michel Leiris, Aimé Césaire, Robert Creeley, Jayne Cortez, Stokely Carmichael, Ishmael Reed and Paul Bowles, Franklin and Penelope Rosemont; many of these letters are collected at the Bancroft Library of the University of California Berkeley. The University of Delaware houses his correspondence with Charles Henri Ford. Joans was also a close correspondent/participant of the Chicago Surrealist Group.

Joans’ painting Bird Lives hangs in the De Young Museum in San Francisco. He was also the originator of the “Bird Lives” legend and graffiti in New York City after the death of Charlie Parker in March 1955. His visual art work spans collages, assemblage objects, paintings and drawings including many resulting from the collaborative surrealist game Cadavre Exquis.

Now that’s quite a luminary then, huh?  With all this cultural street cred, surely he was a master wordsmith.

The famous poem Santa Claws

I’m familiar with his works from an anthology I saw long ago.  One was called “Santa Claws”, a fairly representative sample of his poetry.  Wikipedia forgot to mention how much verve and dramatic force he has!  Why, they were all too modest!  For that matter, the leftist literary establishment that promoted Joans back in the day was all too modest as well.  This poem begins:

IF THAT WHITE MOTHER HUBBARD COMES DOWN MY BLACK CHIMNEY DRAGGING HIS PLAYFUL BAG

IF THAT RED SUITED FAGGOT STARTS HO-HO-HOING ON MY ROOF TOP

IF THAT OLD FAT CRACKER CREEPS INTO MY HOUSE

I’d love to quote the thing in its entirety.  However, it’s pretty short and I don’t want to go beyond “fair use” standards.  The good news is that you can go to his site and read it all yourself.  Best of all, it’s in a convenient JPEG that you can print out and distribute in your Xmas cards to your loved ones.  It does say “free postcard” at the page, after all.  Surely it’ll be a hit!

Black Friday stocking stuffer “Santa Claws”

John Lennon’s “Imagine” reloaded

Note, the following contains strong political content.  I’m going to get a lot more “edgy” than usual.  If that’s not your cup of tea, feel free to skip it.  The following is for purposes of humor and satire only.

I wrote the following in Deplorable Diatribes illustrating how Marxist themes seeped into the Counterculture since the 1960s with surprising success:

Another example is John Lennon’s perfectly dreadful song “Imagine”. He outright admitted that it had a Marxist theme, and the lyrics are pretty clear about it. (There’s a strong globalist subtext too.) Leonid Brezhnev didn’t encourage him to write a song with sugar-coated Socialism, and David Rockefeller didn’t tell him to push a One World agenda; again, that’s not how it worked. John Lennon and the other three Beatles were especially popular in the Counterculture, which is where they got those ideas. […]

What did actual KGB agents think of these volunteer propagandists? Yuri Bezmenov had a funny remark:

“If you remember the history of rock and roll music you know the name of the Beatles. They were trained in India in an ashram in transcendental meditation, and they landed in the United States and they poisoned millions of minds of your children with the strange blend of Oriental mysticism and revolutionary music. “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” My KGB supervisors were dying of curiosity, how could it possibly happen that four degenerate monkeys are so rich and famous in United States?”

Following that, I discuss the role of music promoters who were out to make a buck but also “liked those themes. At the very least, they didn’t disapprove of them.”

Now let’s imagine something much better

How about if we make a better song, inspired by Lennon’s sophomoric mush?  The results might get pretty interesting!  I’m not the first to do something like this, but I figured I’d give it a whirl.

For anyone who might take me to task over the copyright status, the SCOTUS decision Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, Inc. indicates that parodies can fall under “fair use” protections if they’re original enough.  Since I wrote all of it, that should count.  I’m not including sheet music here, so if you want to karaoke to the original or think of some other tune for it, that’s all up to you.  Other than that, the original Lennon lyrics – with nothing changed – can be found here or dozens of other places online, and nobody does squat about it.  Finally, once again, it’s all about the satire.  That said, here are my improved lyrics.

Imagine there’s no commies
The helicopters will fly
No hellish gulags for us
While Reds promise the sky
Imagine our own people
Living in liberty… No SJWs too…

Imagine there’s no globalists
It isn’t wrong to do
No wars to fight for them
And no migrants, too
Imagine our own nations
Living in independence… For me and you…

Hillary says I’m deplorable
But she’s not the brightest one
Awaken the masses to join us
And the traitors will soon run

Imagine no media hacks
Or pornographers too
We don’t need greedy banksters
Just deport you-know-who
Our people’s existence secured
Our children’s future assured… A dream come true…

Hillary says I’m deplorable
But she’s not the brightest one
Awaken the masses to join us
And the traitors will soon run

And finally

I couldn’t help this one.

Q:  How can we tell that Yoko Ono is a lizard?
A:  She lives off of dead Beatles.

John Lennon’s “Imagine” reloaded

I just raised my intersectionality score!

I found an awesome way to increase my intersectionality score!  First, I should explain what this is all about.

What is intersectionality?

Feminists by ethnicity
There’s nothing to see here; move along…

Intersectionality began when some Black feminists started feeling left out even in their own movement.  It’s rather understandable.  Blacks are about an eighth of the USA’s population, but in the feminist movement, they were taking a back seat to some other ethnic group representing about a fortieth of the population.  It’s not too different from the concerns raised in Harold Cruse’s The Crisis of the Negro Intellectual.   So the basic idea they came up with was that being female was a disadvantage in society (that’s highly debatable, of course), and being Black also was disadvantageous.

Under feminism up to that time, they merely got one point for their personal characteristic of being female.  Then under the earliest version of intersectionality, they got a second point for their race.  It didn’t stop there.  Homosexuality became another personal characteristic that counted.  Therefore, Black lesbians got three intersectionality points and could pull rank on everyone else.  These days, it goes further than even that.  Being transgendered is the latest chic thing.  Other personal characteristics can be added into the equation as needed.  As I wrote in Deplorable Diatribes:

Many leftists of the past urged the proletariat to carry out a great worldwide Socialist revolution. Today, the proletariat has been abandoned. In its place, leftists have cobbled together new disaffected factions. The inclusion of silly “fat studies” programs in places like Washington State and Oregon State demonstrates that this can go on infinitely. I can’t wait until they start getting furries and otherkin on board with the anti-straight-White-guy brigade.

So the idea is that having certain essential characteristics either makes someone privileged or disadvantaged.  The underlying assumption, of course, is that privileged is EVIL and disadvantaged is GOOD.  If you’re born into a privileged group, then you have some special form of original sin that never can be fully absolved.  If you’re born into a disadvantaged group, then you can do no wrong.  Of course, this is the exact opposite of the principle of not judging people by their personal characteristics which liberals used to talk about, and still do whenever it’s convenient.

This laid the foundation for today’s leftist social-cultural-sexual pecking order.  The truth is that people have several essential characteristics, and often are included in both privileged and disadvantaged groups, so things can get pretty interesting when SJWs try to figure out who is “right” according to the individual’s constellation of group memberships.

Essentially, then, intersectionality is late-stage cultural Marxism.  After those Black ladies got the ball rolling, intersectionality codified and weaponized the system even better than the Frankfurt School, the original cultural Marxists.  Most people don’t know what intersectionality is, but the basic concepts behind it are deeply ingrained into today’s leftist ideology.  The implications go far and wide.

Disadvantaged groups can practice identity politics; when privileged groups do so, they’re demonized.  History books are distorted to make disadvantaged groups look more accomplished than they actually are, and privileged groups are depicted as always evil.  Some races can have sovereignty and their own living spaces, but not others; colonialism was BAD, but population replacement migration is GOOD.  Privileged groups are constantly browbeaten, disadvantaged groups are constantly praised, no matter what anyone actually does.  The list goes on.  The media operates on these basic assumptions as well, which you’ll see frequently in biased news. Hollywood propaganda, and even advertisements.

Muslims have been added to the coalition, even though it makes no sense.  Their actual beliefs are everything that liberals say they don’t like, but that doesn’t matter.  Remember – this is cultural Marxism, so the anti-Western agenda is the number one consideration.  The Muslims don’t realize that they’re being tooled and can have the rug pulled out from under them.  However, if they do get the upper hand one day, then all the useful idiots who propped them up are going to be in for a big surprise.

What can you do if you have a low intersectionality score?

Elizabeth Warren versus real American Indian lady
One of these is not like the other

Under this intersectionality system, I kind of have a problem.  I’m a straight White guy.  I’m “cisgendered” too, which means I correctly realize what sex I belong to, which is rather obvious whenever I take a leak.  Therefore, the only way I could be any more evil is if I were a fundamentalist Christian.  (My actual beliefs don’t fit well into any single classification.)

Does this mean I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth?  Not really; my parents were on a shoestring budget until I was about ten, and as an adult, I’ve had a couple of brushes with starvation.  However, none of that matters, because I’m one of those evil straight White guys (who know that they’re guys).  I can’t change any of these essential characteristics – or can I?

If your personal characteristics fall on the “privileged” side of the balance, you have some difficult choices.

  • You can resist the cultural Marxists.  However, if you speak up too loudly, you might get doxed by SJWs, deplatformed, smeared in the media, fired for your political beliefs, and so forth.  Still, they can pick off individuals, but if the masses started resisting, they can’t go after everybody.  The cultural Marxists would lose their power and the rotten system would come crashing down.
  • You can collaborate with the cultural Marxists.  For example, you can virtue signal.  You can practice ethnomasochism or pathological altruism.  You can become a male feminist ally.  Doing any of that makes you a bitch, of course.
  • You can change your unchangeable personal characteristics, or more accurately, pretend to be something you’re not.  That makes you a bitch too, but work with me on this.

According to human evolution, we were all proto-chimps at one time.  (If you’re a creationist, work with me on this too.)  Then the first people – kinda sorta – were the australopithecus afarensis.  They lived three to four million years ago.  The famous Lucy was one of them.  They first developed the high technology of banging rocks together to make useful stuff.  It was a humble beginning, but got the ball rolling.  These guys lived in east Africa – a part of Ethiopia, to be specific.  Since I’m descended from those guys (like everybody) and live in the USA, this means that now I can check off the “African American” box next time I apply for a job.  Woo hoo – my intersectionality score just went up!

Ah, but that’s just the beginning.  As all those smart professors know, gender is only a social construct.  Maybe I’m not a straight male after all.  Instead, I’m a lesbian in a man’s body.  Awesome – now I’m female, transgendered, and homosexual too!  I’ve bumped up my intersectionality score all the way!  If you’re a victim and you know it, clap your hands…

Does this mean that I’m as confused as hell?  Well, since having a mental disorder is a badge of honor these days, mark me down for one more intersectionality point!  The good news is that, according to the rules the leftists made up, none of this can be questioned.  You are whatever you proclaim yourself to be, right?

Of course, all this is nonsense.  Well, so is intersectionality.  If we start treating this – one of the main pillars of modern leftist ideology – like the joke it is, the wind goes out of their sails.  If the masses start laughing at it, they can’t go after everybody, and the rotten system comes crashing down!

I just raised my intersectionality score!

What sexual dimorphism looks like

For thousands of years, everyone assumed that humans consisted of males and females, just like any other advanced species.  This – and the fact that the distinction is meaningful – is something that biologists call sexual dimorphism.  Now that it’s the Current Year, those smart gender studies professors and sociology professors set us straight, and the media is telling us the truth about it every chance they get, so we’re way more enlightened than ever before.  The Narrative tells us that humans are exempt from the rules of basic biology.  Wow, how about that!  Who knew?

More seriously, how many people actually declare themselves to be something other than male or female?  It turns out that the “T” in GLBT is about 10% of the total GLBT numbers.  This means that transsexuals are a fringe group of a fringe group; and 0.3% of the general population.  Therefore, the following is the gay flag with the colors statistically corrected:

Statistisch-korrekte_LSBQT-Fahne

Why is society bending over backwards to please a tiny number of victims of a politically fashionable shared delusion?  Good question!

Anyway, the following is reblogged in translation from Lollipops For Equality; all credit belongs to the original.


 

In the imagination of a gender studies victim, the assortment of genders looks like this:

tumblr_onzbe7cJyV1trsukjo1_540

If one doesn’t look at the world through the lens of politically correct ideology, it looks more like this:

tumblr_onzbe7cJyV1trsukjo2_540

I find the “ableist” discrimination of those affected by red-green colorblindness to be especially good at the representation.

What sexual dimorphism looks like