Leftists who want to put their opposition into reeducation camps should be careful what they wish for

Lately, Resident Joe Bidet cheated his way into the White House. The Democrats also were up to their old tricks again in the Georgia runoff, giving them the Senate. You can bet your bottom dollar that the Evil Party will do whatever they can to grant themselves a permanent lock on the Federal government and shut out the Stupid Party, not that it makes all that much difference at this point. They might even try to pack the Supreme Court, something even FDR didn’t dare attempt. They’re certainly going to go full speed ahead with population replacement migration, keeping the USA on track toward having a non-white majority. I wouldn’t be surprised if amongst themselves they giggle about that like little girls.

You’d think the Bidet supporters would be happy now that they got just about everything they want. Instead, there’s been a lot of talk about taking thought control to the next level. Some of them call Trump supporters “brainwashed,” at best it’s the pot calling the kettle black. Others call for “deradicalization,” “deprogramming,” and even that evocative old word “re-education.” They’re all but giggling like little girls about that one too.

NewsWars made a handy compilation of some prominent figures pushing for this. The first citation was by the “cult expert” Steve Hassan, who thereby outed himself as a major league douchebag. Then there was “America’s Sweetheart” Katie Couric:

On HBO’s “Real Time” last Friday, TV news anchor Katie Couric pondered how the left was going to “deprogram” Trump supporters from the “cult of Trump” once Biden assumes office.

“They bought into this big lie. And the question is, how are we going to, really, almost deprogram these people who have signed up for the cult of Trump?” she asked Bill Maher.

If that doesn’t shake someone’s faith in the concept of the press as an ideologically neutral pillar of democracy, then I don’t know what will. Anyway, all this is talk so far – and apparently a lot of it – but what exactly are they planning to do? That’s what television is for, of course. However, if TV is failing to indoctrinate tens of millions of the public, then presumably all this reeducation will require a reeducation camp.

And last week, Project Veritas captured PBS’ principal lawyer Michael Beller admitting that the left is aiming to take away the children of Trump supporters to be “re-educated” when Biden becomes president.

“We go for all the Republican voters and Homeland Security will take their children away. . . we’ll put them into the re-education camps.”

So at least for some leftists out there, that’s exactly what’s on the table. Kicking sand in our faces just isn’t enough for them.

The archetypal example

The term “reeducation camp” tends to conjure up the Vietnamese experience. After Henry Kissinger bungled the Paris Peace Accords by negotiating a sucker deal, South Vietnam was overrun a couple of years later in a sneak attack. Only a token American presence remained, per the terms of the treaty, unable to defend our ally. The shaky Ford administration couldn’t even get Congress to send aid.

Then the Fall of Saigon occurred, something I found chilling even though I was very young and up to that point had no awareness of what was going on. After seizing power, former government officials and military officers were rounded up and taken into custody. The new Marxist régime promised it would be just a few months at most, but actual conditions turned out to be far worse, especially for those on their shit list. Even our good friends at WaPo tell us that the experience certainly was no picnic:

The reeducators gave seven, week-long political lessons, [former General Nguyen Huu] Co recalled, following each with reading and discussion among the generals. The instructors were not interested in back talk. “We couldn’t say frankly that we had not fought against our homeland,” he said. [. . .]

After the first three years, Co’s situation deteriorated sharply. He and his fellow generals were moved to a new camp in northern Vietnam, near the border with China. There they faced forced labor and short rations. No packages from home were allowed for the first year in the new camp; one every other month was permitted in the second. Letters were permitted once every two months. “That camp was the hardest,” he said.

Apparently this seems to be what leftists today think we deserve, because we disagree with their wise opinions.

Two can play that game

Leftists need to understand that karma is a bitch with fleas. As their own proverb went back in the 1960s, “What goes around, comes around.” It’s a common historical theme that leftists keep pushing the envelope with outrageousness. Meanwhile, rightists play Mr. Nice Guy until they finally get sick of putting up with all the nonsense. Our patience has been far too great thus far, but it’s not inexhaustible. The globalists and their leftist proxies are making a grave miscalculation to think they have impunity to kick a sleeping giant indefinitely. Any nasty stuff they do to us will, by their own example, be fair game in return.

If we decide to follow suit, then what would one of our reeducation camps be like? If it comes to that, let’s see if we can come up with a basic model, and have a little more panache than the leftist version. First up will be the daily schedule, then the intake process, and a ten week instructional program in three phases for recovery from leftism. It’s difficult to recover from a lifetime of indoctrination, but the following course will offer a good chance of rehabilitating degenerate snowflakes into decent citizens.

Reveille is at 0400, followed by roll call. Then mandatory hygiene will follow; leftists sure need a lot of it. Recruits who refuse will be taken to the Bull Connor Memorial Courtyard to get showers delivered by fire hoses. Wash that funk off the skin, or else it gets the hose again! At daybreak, recruits will perform the Bellamy salute during the flag-raising ceremony. Training follows through the day, as detailed further below. Lights out is at 2100. At 2115, everyone gets up again to scrub the barracks with toothbrushes until the place sparkles for the morning inspection. Those displaying incorrect attitude will be voluntold to stand fire watch duty during the night, in addition to being gigged with other penalties as needed.

Week 0 (Reception): On Monday, recruits arrive at the base, on cattle cars of course. Belongings will be searched for contraband. If an iPhone, iPad, or another Crapple slave labor product is found, the recruit will be required to smash it with a sledgehammer. Then they’ll report for delousing. For a cute practical joke, it will be a shower room cleverly disguised as a gas chamber. Then they’ll get pinstriped uniforms, along with triangular patches for helpful identification of their personal problems.

Camp orientation follows. The first item is that they’ll be shown where the infirmary is; many new arrivals will need Red Pills to obtain relief from television withdrawal. A medic will be on hand throughout the reeducation experience to burst ideological bubbles. Recruits will receive an experimental mRNA vaccine against the cultural Marxism mind-virus.  It’ll be great if it works, and if it doesn’t work, well… Also, they’ll be drug tested, and any dopers will be required to smoke oregano and sniff scouring powder until they reach enlightenment.

On the next day, anyone with blue, green, or purple hair will get a free buzz cut, as well as those with whitey-dreads. The day after, they’ll have their PC blindfolds removed, the bananas pulled out of their ears, and a doctor specializing in cranio-rectal extraction will be on hand for difficult cases. The rest of the day, they’ll be put into formation and learn to goose step. On Thursday, their fitness level will be assessed to determine what kind of wimps they are. On Friday, they learn how to pick up their rooms for once. During times not otherwise occupied, recruits will shovel a pile of gravel from one side of a road to the other, then back again. Weaklings who can’t hack it will be sent to a room where they fill sandbags using a teaspoon. Recruits will be assigned to a drill instructor who promptly will point out their personal shortcomings in great detail. On Sunday, there will be a religious observance where they may worship a Peruvian helicopter that was in use during the Pinochet administration.

The remedial education syllabus for leftists

Week 1 (red phase begins): The first order of business is that recruits will undertake a crash course in history, since leftists never had proper instruction before. Major topics will include the self-evident truth of American exceptionalism, the glories of Western civilization, and how “People of Color” actually lived prior to colonialism bearing the torch of civilization. At the end of the week, they must produce an essay about all the things Howard Zinn got wrong.

Week 2: Recruits will study remedial math. There will be a special emphasis on statistics, so that they’re capable of discussing the topic intelligently for the first time in their lives. In particular, they’ll learn what an average is, and why statistical outliers don’t refute the average. Practical economics is another key focus. Their assignment for the week is to explain why money doesn’t grow on trees.

Week 3: The topic will be basic biology. Recruits will learn about prenatal development until they understand that a baby is not a “choice.” They also will study sexual dimorphism to rid them of the belief that there are more genders than Carter has liver pills. Finally, they’ll learn about basic genetics and why that matters. The required essay will be about why men can’t get pregnant, contrary to radical gender theory narratives popularized by the MSM. It shouldn’t take long; even a sentence is sufficient to explain the truth.

Week 4 (white phase begins): Race realism is the next subject, which will be studied from all angles. This especially includes why racial differences matter, particularly intelligence, crime rates, and average group behavior. Recruits will learn why mass Third World immigration, forced integration, and miscegenation are bad. Throughout the week, former race mixers will wear an “I defiled my race” placard and a noose around their necks. The essay topic is about how positive diversity means independent peoples living separately and at peace with their neighbors, rather than turning major cities into racial pressure cookers.

Week 5: The subject is a multifaceted presentation of the “JQ.” The writings of Kevin McDonald and others will be studied in depth. The list of horribles will be detailed, from Karl Marx and the Rothschilds down to Bernie Madoff and Jeffrey Epstein, and why they need to stop doing that. In the beginning, Members of the Tribe in attendance will be asked if they believe that collective guilt is a valid concept. Nothing happens to those who do not, but those who do believe in collective guilt will attend a special self-criticism session at the end.  There, they will check their privilege and apologize for everything their tribesmen did wrong. Then they’ll discuss their sincere commitment to be good citizens henceforth, and to remind any errant members of their tribe of the importance to do so. (Those who object will be invited to wash out of the program, renounce their citizenship, and buy a one-way ticket to Tel Aviv.) The essay will be about why rootless cosmopolitans need to start learning from their mistakes.

Week 6 (blue phase begins): This week, recruits will learn all about the MSM, who runs it, and how the countless TV stations, newspapers, magazines, and other outlets within five like-minded conglomerates and a controlled opposition conglomerate create a false illusion of choice. Former presstitutes will attend an all-day samokritika session tearfully repenting for every lie they told during their journalism careers. Those who refuse may opt out and wade through a hog lagoon all day instead. All recruits will write an essay about their personal experiences in how the MSM formed their incorrect viewpoints since childhood.

Week 7: Recruits will learn about the blood-soaked history of Communism and who started it and were the major participants and promoters. They’ll also learn that socialism doesn’t simply mean a bunch of free goodies. While other recruits throw rotten tomatoes at them, former Antifa members will perform samokritika describing how they were dupes thinking they were fighting The System but actually were serving as its paramilitary arm. At the end of the week, any unrepentant pinkos and comsymps will have to buy a one-way ticket to Pyongyang where they can spend the rest of their lives digging ditches for their buddy Kim Jong Un. The essay will be about why Senator Joseph McCarthy was a hero and the journalists opposing him were goddamn traitors.

Week 8: The next topic is globalism. First, recruits will be instructed in the century-long history of the Deep State. They’ll learn why democracy is a sham if both major parties answer to the same paymasters. They’ll study the web of unelected New World Order institutions and tricky foundations sometimes pretending to be humanitarians. They need to know that this gang has been conspiring to turn the entire world into a single police state run by billionaires, in which the impoverished masses are utterly dependent on the government. This week, any former Deep State members in attendance will wear sackcloth and ashes instead of their uniforms, and spend an hour a day sharpening guillotine blades. The essay will be about why Brave New World is a dystopia rather than a wonderful model for society.

Week 9: Instruction will be about the wrecking job that cultural Marxism has done over a century, and who started it. They will gain a new understanding of critical theory and its spinoffs, radical feminism, radical GLBTs, radicalized youth movements, minority agitation, and so forth. Former leftist professors will attend a lengthy struggle session while wearing dunce caps, confessing how they indoctrinated their students. Recruits will write an essay on the ways the dirty hippies, comsymps, and outside agitators ruined America during the 1960s.

Week 10: Finally, recruits will be instructed in all the things they never knew about the Third Reich and the Second World War. The first subject is the Marxist uprising in Germany at the end of the First World War, continued subversion efforts following that, and who was behind these things. More conditions during the Weimar Republic will be discussed: degeneracy and who promoted it, economic devastation and who profiteered from it, and so forth. Other topics are the international situation prior to and following the outbreak of war: Churchill’s secret war guarantee to Poland, FDR’s antagonistic policies toward Japan, his foreknowledge about Pearl Harbor and failure to put the base on alert after setting them up, FDR’s secret cables to Churchill plotting war, how the two gave away Eastern Europe to their buddy “Uncle Joe” Stalin during the Yalta conference, and so forth. The final essay of the course will be about why a war means that everyone gets their hands dirty.

For a bonus round, recruits will see a video tour of Auschwitz (some already exist) showing off amenities for the inmates, like the swimming pool, hospital, orchestra, soccer field, library, camp post office, and the brothel. (The recruits, deprived for nearly three months of their familiar comforts, may start to feel a bit envious at that point.) They’ll also notice the huge unused smokestack that doesn’t adjoin any building, built by Soviet army engineers who clearly didn’t understand the purpose of their orders. Of course, the presentation will include the alleged gas chamber, behind a regular office door with a window, with visible lines on the floor where ordinary interior walls and a toilet fixture used to be, and none of the characteristic blue stains on the bricks that would occur with repeated exposure to hydrocyanic gas.

Following the graduation ceremony, the recruits will now be decent citizens. They’ll get their civilian clothing back and may return to their normal lives. As a parting gift, graduates will receive free copies of David Duke’s My Awakening for further study, and a discount coupon to buy more copies at cost for their friends and family. Vouchers for retraining in real jobs will be offered for those formerly in unproductive and damaging pursuits like journalists, professional activists, diversity consultants, leftist professors, and social parasites.

Yes, it was a joke

Note well, this wasn’t a serious proposal, but instead was to make light of all this. That should go without saying. Although the leftists really want to rub our noses in it, we can show some magnanimity when it’s our turn. I only want the adults to be in charge henceforth, so that our country will become healthy and normal again. My snowflake boot camp idea was merely black humor. On the other hand, leftists seem to be pretty serious about what they want to do to anyone who disagrees with them.

Leftists who want to put their opposition into reeducation camps should be careful what they wish for

Is your child a far-right extremist?

I found this online, originally in graphic form.  Enjoy!


Look for warning signs:

  • Aversion to drugs, alcohol, pornography
  • Interest in physical fitness, mental wellbeing
  • Growing collection of classic literature
  • Monogamy, desire to marry and procreate
  • Increased time spent outdoors or in nature
  • Appreciation of nation, history and culture
  • Disdain for modernism, post-modernism
Is your child a far-right extremist?

Antifa rioter in Portland learns to break dance

This one is short and sweet.  An Antifa rioter in Portland became a friendly fire casualty from a Molotov cocktail.  Other versions of this include “Walking On Sunshine” and “Beat It”.

Don’t try this at home, kids.  Rioting is not a game!

EDIT:  YouTube’s sheep-bothering censors struck again.  These analingus addicts think that they know best and should decide what you are and aren’t allowed to see.  Fortunately, there’s a very similar video up on Bitchute.  Enjoy!

Antifa rioter in Portland learns to break dance

The coronavirus scare is sexist

Lately, the public is expected to wear masks as security theater against Covid19.  A mask will stop a virus like underwear stops farts, but it is what it is.  Fortunately, it’s mostly a nothingburger for anyone who doesn’t have preexisting conditions.  Maybe this is a big exercise in seeing how far they can push the public without the public pushing back.  If we were ordered to wear banana peels on our heads in the name of secuuuurity, most people would do it.

That said, going into public has become a little different lately.  Women are so darn beautiful that they can take my breath away sometimes.  As the fellow who wrote in the Carmina Burana put it, “Tibi pulchra facies, sicut solis radies…”  It’s all about the pretty face, beauty shining like the sun.

Well, what happens if you can’t see that most lovely feminine face?  Then, of necessity, the eyes wander somewhere else.  Another notable attribute of ladies if their supremely appealing three dimensionality.  Yes, I mean the boobage.  From the earliest age, we come programmed to plant our lips atop those womanly peaks.  I can wax quite eloquent about the bosom, and how majestic tits are in all their delicious, buxom, yummy, supple, kissable, majestic majesty.  If a man doesn’t want to bury his face in a pair of them, then he probably knows the difference between teal and aqua.

chloe_vevrier_diary3

Oh, but staring at tits is rude, and sexist!  Well, I can’t admire women’s gorgeous faces any more, because they’re all covered over with those stupid masks, so what the hell do I look at other than the sweater puppies?  The Covid19 fright peddlers are responsible for the fact that I want to motorboat every pair of ripe melons I see.

The coronavirus scare is sexist

According to NYC’s Health Department, glory holes are a line of defense against Covid19

No, I’m not making this up.  Once again, truth is stranger than fiction.  The Daily Caller excerpted from a safety pamphlet, including the following:

“Make it a little kinky. Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact,” states NYC’s Health Department.

Hasn’t all this security theater gone far enough by now?  Come on, people; we’ve moved from one manufactured crisis to another anyway!

According to NYC’s Health Department, glory holes are a line of defense against Covid19

Why it’s better for men to be homosexual

It really is fun to stay at the YMCA!  This, of course, is the first reason of many that all men should take a walk on the wild side.  That would be faaaabulous!

Note well, the following isn’t a serious endorsement of buggery like Men’s Health didIf you like it that way, you’re already doing it.  If you don’t, then you ain’t gonna go there.  However, since I’m still in a fine mood, this is a good a time as any to explain the benefits of the Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name.  Consider all this as tongue in cheek – or yanno, right between both of the lower ones.

The nightgame is much friendlier

As a straight guy, I don’t like nightgame very much.  Fortunately, you no longer have to endure clouds of cigarette smoke that give you a past life flashback from when you were killed in the gas attack during the Battle of Ypres.  Still, music nearing the audible threshold of pain remains a problem, and obviously precludes any conversation short of screaming.  What I find the most aggravating are the bad attitudes.  I never really could understand why chicks would go to a social venue and act like it’s not a social venue.  They’re out to get picked up, they know it and we know it, so why pretend otherwise?  As I put it in Deplorable Diatribes:

The bad attitudes are completely repellent, and they do this to themselves. It’s as absurd as if they took an hour to get their outfits ready, but then rolled around in mud before walking into the place. A little charm and grace would go a very long way, and set themselves apart from the competition too.

With gay guys, it’s completely different.  They’re the most libertine people in the world.  Saying “Hey, how about it?” to women gets you a bad reaction, but it’s exactly the opposite when men are approached by someone they like.

How does a nightgame pickup usually go?  Let’s say there’s a straight singles bar with 50 customers.  We’ll assume the sex ratio is exactly half and half, though in real-life cases, there usually are fewer women.  So for this example, if a straight guy goes into that club, there are 25 women he can meet.  For anything to happen, there must be mutual physical attraction.  (He probably won’t like some of them, and some won’t like him.)  The personalities also have to click, or at least they have to find each other tolerably agreeable.  Meanwhile, there are 25 competitors for his 25 prospects.  He might be able to pick up someone, but the result is far from certain.

Actually, this is a great understatement of the difficulties involved.  Nightgame has become a pain in the ass, and not in a good way!  First of all, if someone is an amateur with game, then he’s at a big disadvantage because he doesn’t know the unwritten rules of modern courtship.  Then when you factor in problems like Bitch Shields, cockblocking, and AMOGs, it can be a real drag.  Then there’s the hypergamy problem, in which most of the bar flies have unrealistic expectations.  They think they deserve a celebrity or something, when it’s actually the men they’re shooting down who deserve better prospects.  When sex ratios become unfavorable, then it can get to be a sausage fest.  At least these places have overpriced liquor for customers to drown their sorrows!

On the other hand, the 175ers have an obvious mathematical advantage making their social venues a target-rich environment.  Let’s say that next door to that singles club, there’s a gay bar that also has 50 customers.  When another one walks in, he doesn’t find half prospects and half competitors.  Instead, he potentially can pick up anyone there, and anyone else might be interested in him, assuming they turn each other on.  If a gay bar is a sausage fest, that’s certainly not a bad thing for them!  And did I mention that homosexuals are the most libertine people on the planet?  These places sometimes have a room set aside where the customers can have a quickie before returning to buy a couple more beers and finding someone else for the night’s next hookup.

That’s right; they’re getting laid like rock stars.  Meanwhile, what’s going on at the singles bar next door?  Straight guys all too often get used as free drink dispensers by chicks with a case of Princess Complex.  If that fact alone doesn’t make you want to get on your knees and give some dude a BJ, then this means you’re confirmed 100% heterosexual.  Sorry bro…

You’ll save lots of money

If that wasn’t enough reason to drop the soap, there are economic factors too.  Those fortunate enough to be queer don’t have to spend money on girlfriends, wives, kids, or (if things go badly) alimony and child support.  There’s a reason why gay neighborhoods often are in upper middle class parts of town, with lots of nice high-rises.  Think about it!  With a thriving hookup culture (see above) then there’s not even any reason to spend extra cash on dinner dates, expensive gifts, and anniversaries.

Also, there’s no need for a ring with a glittery rock that’s supposed to cost a quarter of your annual salary.  (That’s probably a standard that some marketing executive from the DeBeers diamond cartel made up a century ago.)  There’s also no expectation for a bridezilla wedding that costs the same as a new car.  Everybody knows that gay marriage was a lot more about political theater than genuine interest.  The only rational reasons these days to get married are for religious-inspired morality, or to have children, and gays aren’t big on either.

The reason why marriage doesn’t make sense for anything else is because half the time they end in divorce, which is like a cruise missile hitting your bank account.  What happens to the small number of homosexuals who actually do get the holy handcuffs if they later decide to bail?  This is still a relatively new phenomenon, mostly uncharted legal territory, but I predict that it will work like this:

  • Straight divorce:  The ex-wife steals the ex-husband’s property and children in court
  • Lesbian divorce:  The ex-wives trade property and cats
  • Gay divorce:  The ex-husbands just break up and keep their own stuff

See how much more sensible that is?  The difference between being gay and straight is that the gay guy takes it up the ass in a bathhouse, and the straight guy takes it up the ass in a divorce court.  Who is having more fun in that scenario, huh?

You’ll be special

gay pride San Fran01

Still not convinced that buggery is faaaabulous?  Well, what special recognition in society do “breeders” get?  You’ll have either Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, and that’s only if you’ve fulfilled your biological imperative.  That’s right – you might get a card and a phone call from each of your children.  Wait – that’s it?  Once again, the sodomites are having all the fun!  Heterosexuals aren’t even remarkable as a class.  We’re boringly ordinary!

First of all, as a homosexual, you get to have special parades.  Pretty cool, huh?  There, you can let it all hang out – literally too, if you know what I mean!  Like, who doesn’t want to walk down Main Street dressed in assless chaps, fetish gear, or maybe not much at all?  If people ever called you a degenerate, now is your chance to prove them right!  Why try to win over their hearts and minds when you can make their eyes bleed instead?

This is only the beginning, though.  According to cultural Marxism, because gays used to get a hard time, normal society must compensate for that from now on.  Therefore, gays should enjoy elevated status, and everyone else must bend over backwards (or preferably forwards) to accommodate them.  You’ll have dozens of political lobbies to champion your cause.  There are countless clubs, professional organizations, and so forth just for you.  If you come out of the closet, you’ll emerge right into a welcoming hug-box with the rest of the gay community.  The media loves you, and corporations will virtue signal obsequiously for you.  You have a handy “get out of criticism free” card too.  If you disagree with someone else, it’s an opinion; if someone disagrees with you, it’s a phobia.

Still, you’d better act fast.  There have been a few rumblings by the cultural Marxists that gay guys are becoming too “privileged” and need to be kicked out of the coalition.  Part of it is from having all that extra money, you see.  (What can you do?  I recommend playing the persecution card more; you’re not getting much of it now, but apparently you can keep the racket going for 75 years or longer.)  Anyway, enjoy your elevated status while it lasts, because it will be a rude awakening if the rug gets pulled out from under you.

And lastly

I hope you’ve enjoyed this April Fools Day edition.  Cheers!

Why it’s better for men to be homosexual

I’m so tired of the Wuhanic Plague

Like much of the public, I’m hunkering down at home.  So is the rest of the household.  I’m trying not to succumb to cabin fever.  An odd idea came back to me, one that’s been kicking around for a while.  Perhaps I could write a modern series of stories inspired by Boccaccio’s Decameron, which would be rather fitting.

The economy went into a very rapid drop from the panic.  It doesn’t help that many of our businesses will be temporarily offline, or permanently if this drags on for too long.  So naturally my portfolio took a big hit.  Luckily I made some defensive moves before this happened, but I wish I’d gone further with it.

I’m not going to be one of the people who chicken out and sell out at the bottom.  Instead, I’m going to make a big play at the bottom, and perhaps this will be enough to make me a millionaire.  Now that the Fed is going to dump another $1.5 trillion into the economy, made up out of thin air, we’ll get more inflation and being a millionaire will be easier than ever, because money will be worth less than before.

Other than that, I’ve got all the supplies I need for a while, so long as the water and electricity hold out.  We Mormons are supposed to have a year’s worth of food on hand.  Utah is going to do fairly well.  I’m a very bad Mormon, but I am partially stocked up.  That’s a good thing, since supermarket shelves are getting bare in places.  It’s what happens when all the Gentiles become last minute preppers.

It’s not a bad idea, but it’s a much better idea when carried out earlier.  Other than that, my supplier for dry survival rations has jacked up the prices to nearly double.  They’re a Salt Lake City business, by the way.  I can’t help but laugh.  Those clever bastards!  I wish I’d gotten a piece of that action!  Maybe I should get a warehouse and stock it with toilet paper for the next disaster?

Kolejka TP
TP line in Warsaw, late 1980s

On that note, toilet paper is unobtainable, and I hear it’s like that all over the country.  It resembles something out of Communist-era Poland.  When all this is over, everyone will be laughing at the situation for years to come.  As for now, if everyone runs out of TP, runs out of Sears catalogs, and runs out of corn shucks, then there’s always the Turkish method.  Specifically… kıçını bir derede yıka.

Well, shit happens!  We have to get Epictetus about it here.  If we weren’t all staying at home, then we might be faced with worse problems.  Either we can laugh about the situation or cry about it, so better to laugh!  Still, I’m tired of the Wuhanic Plague already.  At least that’s better than being sick of it.

I’m so tired of the Wuhanic Plague

Iranian cleric develops a rectal cure for coronavirus

In Iran’s holy city of Qom, once the fave hangout of that jolly old fellow Ayatollah Khomeini, a cure has been developed for the new COVID19 coronavirus.  This is just in time, since it’s now spreading throughout the world and has the potential of becoming a new plague.  Medical professionals are scrambling to confront this.

For Iran, however, that simply will not do.  An Alaraby article goes into their unique approach:

Users on Twitter describe how the Ayatollah Tabrizian has publicly denounced Western medicine as “un-Islamic”.

That’s hardly a surprise.  According to Iran’s ruling class, everything is un-Islamic.  They even think that Barack Obama isn’t a real Muslim.

The good news, of course, is their new coronavirus treatment protocol.  Three cheers for Iran then!  The article goes into some specifics:

According to an Iranian news site, which obtained a screenshot of the message, Tabrizian recommends consuming copious amounts of brown sugar, burning wild rue, as well as inhaling snuff.

I wonder if they have oatmeal in Iran?  I have a weakness for that stuff, especially with lots of butter and brown sugar.  Well, maybe not; they probably think oatmeal is un-Islamic too.  I bet smiling is considered a dark heresy over there.

His eighth tip is the most striking: “Before bedtime, drench some cotton in violet oil and apply onto your anus”

Will this turn your butt lavender?  If so, it’s a small price to pay for curing that nasty case of coronavirus.  As a bonus, you’ll get promoted to middle management, because after that, your Shi’ite doesn’t stink.  That’s something to think about next time you visit the Ayatoilet.

Iranian cleric develops a rectal cure for coronavirus

Tequila, the wonder drug

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

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Tequila, the wonder drug

What would happen if everything in Clown World was exactly the opposite?

We live in a pretty crazy world right now:  irresponsible politicians, degeneracy, coteries of sneaky plutocrats who think they deserve to run the world, the list goes on…  As an illustration of just how nutty things are, let’s imagine for a moment how the world would look if things became exactly the opposite overnight.

Note well, this doesn’t mean that I advocate exactly this.  My positions on some things are more moderate than my humorous take here.  Mainly this is to illustrate how absurd things are now.

#MeToo

nolo me fabulare2

New hashtags emerge, called #FalselyAccusedToo, #LiesForAttentionAndProfit, and #PoliceReportOrItDidn’tHappen.  Victims of bunny boilers speak out, encouraged by men filled with righteous rage.  False accusers are vilified and lose their jobs.  Drama queens who’ve merely spread idle gossip now live in fear that trivial trash-talking incidents from years ago will blow up in their faces.

Meanwhile:  Anyone who says “somebody patted my thigh” years ago either will be ignored, scoffed at, or told that the incident should’ve been regarded as an educational experience.

The gay agenda

drag queen with kids 1

Gays stop rubbing the public’s nose in their lifestyle, because they recognize that anyone who isn’t gay thinks it’s pretty gross when two men bang.  They resolve to keep bedroom stuff in the bedroom.  They make no demands to accommodate them.  Further, they deeply appreciate “breeders” who raise the next generation and keep society moving forward in time.

As for heterosexuals, they aren’t merely considered to be average citizens.  Instead, after coming out straight, they’re made to feel extraordinary and special and welcomed into the straight community.  Large corporations have heterosexual clubs and give them constant adulation.

Meanwhile:  For any gays who demand that the moral values of their small community should take precedence over those of everyone else, they’ll get shouted down and called “heterophobes”.

Mass migration

illegals imageedit_1751_40621206981-574x323

In every Western country, the major rightist party will begin a program to resettle incompatible migrants back to their place of origin.  The major leftist party claims that they object to this.  However, even when they’re in power, they never lift a finger to stop the flood of repatriation.  Meanwhile, the elites of the country will consider this resettlement to be a number one priority.

Meanwhile:  Anyone who argues for open borders will be denounced as an evil extremist.

The United Nations

No Clown World

The UN – “an irrelevant talking-shop for Third World dictators and their European apologists” – disbands after contritely recognizing its sordid history of corruption, worsening problems, and abject failure.  Its building is converted into low-rent housing.  The only vestige of internationalism is peace conferences and negotiations held by teleconference.  Getting rid of the corrupt den of cookie pushers saves billions a year.

Meanwhile:  Anyone who has ambitions to erode the sovereignty of nations, destroy diversity in the name of diversity, micromanage families, drag the USA into other people’s fights, and other hubristic plans will be told to piss up a rope.

Online censorship

Viva Pinochet

Multibillion dollar corporations hire teams of lawyers to write terms of service that forbid expressions of cultural Marxism.  The legalese defines it in the vaguest way possible, giving their teams of right wing censors complete discretion to decide what does or doesn’t constitute cultural Marxism.  They write programs that ban their customers if they’re detected talking online about “intersectionality”, “toxic masculinity”, pro-globalist sentiments, etc. etc. etc.  According to the TOS, customers who file a lawsuit if they get deplatformed for being leftists will recover merely whatever their last annual service payment was, or if it was free, then at most a dollar.

Meanwhile:  Realizing their strategic error, leftists start supporting freedom of speech again like they used to do before the 1990s.  However, nobody can see their arguments because they’ve been thrown off of the Internet.

Democracy

Soros pouting 4-19-18-1
Oh, shit!  The peasants got wise to me!

The people get sick of the “New World Order” types who pull strings behind the scenes for both political parties.  They demand reforms, and terrified politicians institute legislature to get big money influences out of politics.

Meanwhile:  Those guilty of subverting governments see mobs advancing toward their gated communities with torches and pitchforks.  They beg for the police to come and arrest them for treason.  At least they’ll have their day in court, rather than become lamppost ornaments by midnight.

“Watchdog” foundations

NPC orange man bad newsroom 5e7107f

The John Birch Society receives hundreds of millions of dollars in donations.  Law enforcement agencies consult it as an authority on the Red Menace.  The John Birch Society begins compiling extensive lists of leftist groups and their members.  Even Greenpeace gets outed as a front group.  Anyone who was discovered to have worn a St. Che T-shirt back in college goes on the shit list too.

Meanwhile:  The ADL and $PLC are regarded as kooky extremists.  They don’t get a scrap of free publicity from the media.

Feminism

spank
Feminist getting deprogrammed

Society is run with the premise that women and men should get along together.  Countless foundations, private organizations, media figures, and celebrities encourage girls and women to follow traditional lifestyles and act ladylike.  New “housewife studies” departments open up in universities across the country to encourage marital harmony, discourage retail therapy and running up the credit cards, explain the importance of having at least two children, instruct about cooking and cleaning, and give tips on staying physically fit after marriage.

Meanwhile:  Women’s studies departments get re-purposed.  Typical field trips for studying women include visits to the beach with binoculars and wet T-shirt contests.

What would happen if everything in Clown World was exactly the opposite?