I decided to put Amazon’s KDP Select to the test. My latest novel, Space Vixen Trek Episode 17, is going on sale for one week. For the first half, the Kindle ebook is 99 cents, later $1.99 for the rest of the week, so get it while it’s hot!
For Safe and Secure in Atropia, I’ve now made it free at Smashwords. You couldn’t beat a deal like that even if you tried! It’s an easy read, and quite hilarious. If you don’t care for obnoxious bureaucrats, or you’ve ever wished the Board of Directors at your homeowner’s association would go die in a fire, you’ll get a kick out of it. The full description is on my main book page.
The sequel is in the works
The creative bug is still biting. Already I’ve begun on Episode 18.. Although SVT‘s numbering system is symbolic rather than sequential (maybe I’ll get around to explaining it one of these days), events follow those of Episode 17. It’s tentatively named A Three Hour Tour in the Wine-Dark Cosmos. This one is basically Homeric epic meets stupid-funny sitcom.
For a sneak preview, the protagonist gets a shotgun wedding right away. Things really turn to shit when his jock friend brings a dippy bird aboard a spacecraft. Then the nerd’s old flame, the cutest Space Lizard in the galaxy, wants him back. As for his wife, she’s surrounded by over a hundred skeezy suitors. There’s much more trouble, of course, that will happen to the seven castaways stranded in space. If that wasn’t awful enough, the action concludes with a Mormon-themed ending.
I have several other projects in the pipeline as well. Stay tuned!
It’s about time I have a single biographical page, now isn’t it? Well, here we go. Unlike most pages here, I may revise this a bit in the future.
Call me Ishmael, yarrrr. Actually, I’m Rainbow Albrecht, but I usually go by Beau. The name was actually kind of cool until Rainbow Brite hit the shelves when I was a teenager, and then that rainbow flag thing got popular and gave people the wrong idea about me. Afterwards, I was tempted to sue my parents for sticking me with that hippy name.
I was a love child from the 1960s, and technically a red diaper baby. My views diverged from those of my parents pretty early on, much to the horror of my liberal mom and radicalinski dad,. In fact, I most certainly enjoyed watching Red Dawn and Rambo II on the big screen. These days, I also write deplorable diatribes, mostly here and at Return of Kings.
I am a (nominal) member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I do love Salt Lake City, but I’m the worst Mormon since Joseph Smith himself. My favorite watering hole in SLC is Desert Edge (I miss Natasha!), though Beerhive, Garage On Back, and Purgatory are also highly recommended. If we ever meet at once of these places, let’s knock back some brewskis, how about it? Other than that, I’m into lots of rather obscure stuff: Thelema, Distributism, linguistics (ancient Gothic for the win!), Romanian history, Russian novels, and that’s just the beginning.
I spend much of my free time on creative writing, mainly science fiction and fantasy. My flagship Space Vixen Trek series deliberately shoots for the “so bad it’s good” effect. Lately I have brought some projects to fruition, with several in the pipeline. You may find the books at your favorite online ebook retailer:
Here are answers to some questions you might have about me.
How may I contact you?
I don’t care for mailto: links, because then I start getting lots of spam. This includes emails from Nigerian “419” fraudsters. (Those millions they promise aren’t real, in case – Gods forbid – you haven’t figured that one out yet.) I don’t need fake pills to enlarge my dick; I’m not getting any complaints. I don’t need fake pills to make my boobs larger, because I don’t have any and I’d rather enjoy them on other people. Neither am I looking for local hookups in my area. I don’t like spam, Sam-I-Am.
So, if you want to write me, my user ID is rainbow_albrecht and the domain is hotmail.com and I’m sure you can figure it out. For the record, I don’t mind polite discussions with those who don’t share my views. However, if someone wants to curse me out, you can send your email to /dev/null and I’ll be getting back to you shortly.
I like what you’re doing and I want to support your work. How can I send a donation?
I have enough money to support myself pretty comfortably. (I’m not a millionaire, but getting there.) Still, you can buy my books; I wouldn’t mind a little more fame and recognition. For cash donations, you don’t have to send me anything, but instead, contribute to my friends at VDARE. They’re doing some awesome work.
Why do you hate feminists so much?
To clarify, most garden-variety feminists you’ll meet in day-to-day life aren’t really bad people. Unfortunately, they’ve been deluded by the ones in the media and education establishments. They’ve been told constantly that they’re oppressed, when the reality is that today’s women in Western societies tend to live very comfortable lives. In fact, they’re the most pampered and (dare I say it) the most spoiled generation of women who have ever walked the earth. The ones who put the mind-virus in their heads are often pretty sick and twisted, and they use other people to further their political agendas. Those feminists – professional activists and women’s studies professors – can go to Outer Darkness and stay there.
A little more specifically, I started figuring out that there was something wrong with feminism back in college. I really do love women, and back in my Blue Pill days, I used to think that feminism is good, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. At college, I was exposed to some of their unfiltered rhetoric. Since my school was infested with cultural Marxism (like most of them), you couldn’t get away from toxic feminist rhetoric any more than you can get away from pollution in a factory town lacking emission controls. (Again, they can go on a one-way trip to Outer Darkness.) However, it was much later that I found out what feminism is really all about.
What are your thoughts on polygamy?
Multiple relationships can be fun (the Coolidge effect and all that), though they’re certainly extra drama. As for being sealed for time and eternity – if all that’s the real deal – things could get interesting. Maybe that’s why Zeus and Hera are on the outs with each other frequently?
More seriously, I’d do that myself if it were possible. I could make it official with my two girlfriends while continuing to treat them equally. However, rolling out polygamy on a large scale would probably be a social disaster. Every billionaire with 100 concubines means 99 lonely guys out there. Given how hypergamy has been working out, I figure the effects on society would basically amount to more of the same. Worse, a lot of the people who might undertake multiple relationships would have no idea on how to make them work. It’s been tried.
Other than that, if we have gay marriage now, I don’t see any legal reason why polygamy is forbidden, since it has orders of magnitude more historical and cultural provenance than gay marriage ever did. The Supreme Court has made the case time and again that the 14th Amendment (which was really about guaranteeing the rights for freed slaves) means “anything goes”.
Feminism began in 1848 as a movement to achieve women’s suffrage, among several other goals mainly concerning equality under the law. Since every single item in their Declaration of Sentiments was achieved long ago, why do we still have feminism? Despite society’s complete acquiescence, feminists started acting angrier than ever.
It’s a long story, wrapped up in the weaponized social movements that became prominent during the 1960s. The second wave feminists had to start making new demands, of course. Now that we’re into the fourth wave (may mighty Wotan, Guider of Destiny, put an end to this pestilence soon), the picayune things feminists complain about are getting absurd. A recent incident illustrates this point quite well.
First, a digression about the “666 formula”
Guys, have you ever seen personal ads beginning with requirements like this?
Must be at least six feet tall
Must have a six figure income
Must have six pack abdominals
This “666 formula” is typical boilerplate, often merely the beginning of a long shopping list. Likely you’ve seen similar verbiage many times before. If you don’t meet these lofty expectations, you’re certainly not alone. Going by stats for the USA:
Only about 18% of guys are 6’0″ or taller.
Only about 8% of guys make $100K or more. Sorry, gold diggers!
According to 2013 figures, only 26.3% of American men aren’t overweight or clinically obese, part of an increasing worldwide trend. However, if you want to get technical, there’s a difference between skinny and athletic. For visible abdominals, you’ll need 10% or less body fat; maybe 1-2% of guys look like this these days
Therefore, only about 4% of guys meet all the “666 formula” criteria. All these average women who think an average guy is beneath them are setting themselves up for bitter disappointment, but all that’s another topic.
A thought experiment
Whenever you see a personal ad with specifications excluding 96% of guys, do you:
Pass up Miss Princess Complex
Read further to see if she actually brings something to the table herself (besides just the possibility of sex with a spoiled brat)
Become enraged and tell all your friends, who tell their friends, who…
That’s right; your reaction would be one of the first two items. Hey, we understand, women have standards. (Well, usually. Sometimes they need to get some damned standards!) On the other hand, if a guy dares to say that he has some standards of his own, it can launch a feminist screech-fest, triggering millions. This indeed happened a week ago.
Easy things to ask on a first date that tell you whether a girl is worth deeper investment:
* Relationship with father
* Sexual past
* Views on children
* Attitude towards men
* Ability to cook/clean/domestic duties
All can easily be woven into a first date conversation.
Was that unreasonable? Actually, it makes a lot of sense. You need to know basics like these before things get serious. (After all, you wouldn’t want to marry someone who has Daddy issues, has incompatible goals for family size, might bang the milkman, etc.) I might add, although the fraction of women in the population who pass muster for wife material is smaller than in times past, it’s still considerably more than guys who are tall AND rich AND thin (much less athletic).
Then the hordes of Mordor strong, empowered feminists began an epic pearl-clutching festival. NARRATIVE VIOLATION! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! The complete story demonstrates that truth is stranger than fiction. For a brief rundown, the tweet went viral, generating fifteen million rageclicks. The flapdoodle surely went around the world, but for comparison’s sake, that’s about 10% of the USA’s adult female population.
It didn’t end there. Many of these babes started trolling him. One notable cyber-stalker was a Twitter user going by “Liberal, Not Lefty”. (I guess she must be a classical liberal then? Maybe she has some unique insights on Locke, Rousseau, and Voltaire.) Another was Emily Sears. One of her witty rejoinders was 240 characters – or whatever the message limit is – of “hahahaha”. (Pro tip: the common Internet expression “lol” gets the point across and doesn’t wear out your fingers.) Someone else went to the trouble of making a picture of him in front of a wall of vagina sculptures. (Cool, someone knows Photoshop!) Actually, he thought that was pretty funny.
Finally, hordes of feminists started combing over all his old posts, looking for “point and shriek” material. (Normally I don’t recommend television, but I bet there’s some crap on the t00b that would be more entertaining for them.) They made a big brouhaha over some minor misspelling, which was actually just a typo. Actually, I find it saddening that these feminists have nothing better to do with their lives. Anyway, if some brain-dead feminist or SJW wants to do the same thing to me some day, I’ll make it easy. My favorite vegetable is the potatoe.
Nutty feminism in a nutshell
The first wave feminists actually did have concrete things to complain about, unlike silly abstractions thrown around today, such as “The Patriarchy”. Men had (and still have) expected roles too, and women had (and still have) social advantages. This didn’t quite figure into the calculations of these early feminists, but all that’s another story. Ultimately, they abrogated their part of the gender social contract.
What the hell are they complaining about now? Basically everything. Two prominently visible results of feminism today are Princess Complex and going ballistic over nothing. Evidently, there are fifteen million of them who need to get a life.
For all the ladies out there who don’t behave this way, you’re wonderful!
So what’s next? That’s the big question. After taking a deep breath, I updated my book catalog, and will modify it as new releases come out. I’ve spruced up some of my blurbs on Amazon, and also I’m doing paperbacks of some of my shorter works – two left to go! Those ones are large-print, which should be quite helpful for some folks.
Amazon does have lots of cool features. They certainly have a first-rate website. I might give their X-ray feature a whirl. With SVT17, I’ll be kicking the tires on their Amazon Exclusive feature. The drawback is that I can’t upload it anywhere else.
For the record, I really do like Smashwords. The only problem with Smashwords is that I’ll always make an early sale or two with every new title. Then my new book drops to the bottom of the list and they never recirculate it, so my books never get seen. I wrote them about that, and got a form letter back referring me to guides I’d already seen before. They were really ahead of the curve in times past, but they need to start innovating again.
Other than that, I have in mind a sequel for SVT17. This will be quite a unique mashup of a very famous Greek epic with the cheesiest sitcom of 1960s television. Let’s just say this will involve seven castaways lost in the wine-dark cosmos. Things start going to hell with the dippy bird scene, a terrible omen on a spaceship.
Then there are some even more out-there concepts. One will be the redneck version of British history; it’s about half done. Another will be a hostile takeover of a New Agey gathering-place by an organized crime gang.
I proudly announce a new offering in my comedy science fiction series, Space Vixen Trek Episode 17: Tomorrow the Stars. This one might be a bit (ahem) controversial. Actually, I’ll probably have a contract taken out on me over it. The following is about how it came to be, along with some basic themes, though without revealing too many plot details.
Planet Earth is in deep doo-doo
In 1978, a professor and two wacky Midwestern teenagers witness a remarkable finding through groundbreaking technology. A worldwide computer network delivers an image from their new space telescope, and they discover proof that aliens once visited our solar system.
Soon, they’re in more trouble than a gopher at a rattlesnake convention. Little did they know that these sneaky extraterrestrials are back again. They’re now using the Open Mankind Foundation Governance to prepare the world for their “New Galactic Arrangement”. Worse, they’re not the only meddlesome space critters out to subvert our unsuspecting planet.
The professor disappears, apparently the victim of a mysterious kidnapping. The FBI goes after the prime suspects, namely the nerdy junior scientist and Pleasantville High’s star linebacker. A task force of Russian commandoes tracks down the jock’s girlfriends. However, things are much more complicated than they appear. The teens find themselves embroiled in a web of conspiracies, beginning a deplorably politically incorrect adventure through the cosmos.
Who can be trusted? Which scheming aliens will spring the trap first, imposing their brand of despotism upon the world like the humans they’ve exploited before? Can the youths get back home before the history exam?
The creation process
Aside from garden-variety UFOlogy, it includes lots of themes along the lines of Miguel Serrano and the Landig Group. This rightist equivalent of New Age beliefs is pretty colorful, with considerably more panache than the crystal weenie version. However, it’s rather obscure. I figured I should fix that problem! One of these imaginative technologies is the Haunebu flying disk, supposedly created by Vikor Schauberger. Indeed, the Germans had quite a few aerospace innovations and almost-there concepts: rockets, jets, precursors to Stealth aircraft, and so forth.
A few Haunebu designs exist, with basic engineering specifications. These partial blueprints look like fairly convincing originals, but given all the fake UFO stuff out there, it doesn’t prove much, If they really had lasers (kinda sorta) and antigravity propulsion back then, we’d know about it. For example, German flying saucers would’ve made the Battle of Kursk a big tank-plinking party. (Channeling John Lennon, “Imagine there’s no Communism…”) Likewise, they could’ve taken out enemy aircraft before they had a chance to waste tens of thousands of civilians at a go. Come to think of it, our own strategy of spreading democracy one bomb at a time has changed little since the 1940s.
To a small degree, SVT17 is a long-overdue poke at Heinlein’s Rocket Ship Galileo. Yes, he was a great writer, but that thing was a turkey. Still, I’ll give him a free pass since that was kid stuff as well as his first attempt; he certainly hit his stride later. The Golden Age of Science Fiction had many timeless classics, but the dreck marketed to the youth demographic back then inspired my Space Vixen Trek series. (However, my final impetus was “Vacuum Cleaners, Inc.” by Algis Budrys.) Actually, my extravagant parodies might as well be Shakespeare compared to that kind of stuff.
This book has been kicking around for a good while. I got the main scenes plotted, then pushed through writer’s block to get the transitions done. Then it kept growing. The resolution originally would’ve ended with the major battle scene, and all the aftermath was merely two paragraphs. Obviously, that grew considerably, providing a closer look at two other societies and how they confront the problems besetting them. Basically, it’s history written in lightning (bonus points if you get the reference). Other parts also started getting more intricate and tightly-woven. Admittedly, this ain’t exactly Dostoyevsky here, but it’s my most detailed plot thus far.
Then I made one of the characters a Valley Girl, and all hell broke loose. That was a lot funnier, but it’s like a plumbing job where you replace one part, then the one next to it breaks, and so forth. (Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.) I gave the manuscript a final comb-over, and kept finding new stuff to add and other things that had to be tweaked to remain consistent. I did “one last review” to spot any errors, but discovered I was still making improvements. So it was quite an effort, but it was worth it.
A major element is retro-futurism, something I use in some other of my Space Vixen Trek stories. In SVT17, I’m imagining myself as an author in 1958 writing about 1978. Back then, they had some pretty imaginative ideas about how the future would turn out, assuming scientific progress would continue in a straight trajectory. How things actually developed was often rather different, of course, and it’s fun to play with all that. Some technologies envisioned didn’t materialize by 2000 – or even now. Others came ahead of schedule, or a little different from expected. In 2001, we didn’t have HAL9000; we had Windows XP. Even so, the development of computers worked out faster than most anticipated, while starships ain’t happening any time in the foreseeable future.
Knowing what I do now, of course, allows me to throw in some tech nerd humor. For example, in SVT17, Al Gore really does invent the Internet. He did help popularize it for real, but the dude should read his press releases a little better. (For the record, I’m not on his political wavelength, but I like him as a person.) I also have some fun with the Senator Stevens ramble. If you read what he actually said, his “series of tubes” comment was clearly meant metaphorically, though it’s pretty clumsily worded. It’s sort of in the context of bandwidth in a pipeline. Still, it was good for some chuckles.
I also had fun rewriting the personal histories of various individuals. Many cool and awesome people who should’ve lived longer are still around in SVT17′s 1978. For example, Buddy Holly didn’t get on that plane, Elvis Presley becomes a health nut, etc. What I did to Saddam Hussein is a bit cruel, but it’s not like he doesn’t deserve it. And speaking of huge pricks, he’s not the only comic relief.
The alternate history background
Where I really start to have fun is with the changes to society. From today’s perspective, 1958 was so freaking normal that it hurts. In fact, some people think of it as an absolute wasteland. (It’s today’s society that’s an absolute wasteland, but all that’s another discussion.) What if the 1960s-70s went differently – again, a straight trajectory?
The main point of departure is that my “1958 self” optimistically foresees that the Cold War blows over a lot sooner than it actually did (is going to do?) in the real world. Actually, Khrushchev was pretty decent – as far as Soviet leaders go, of course. He really wanted to be a reformer. He was, in fact, remarkably better than his predecessors, who were sick rat bastards. (No offense meant to convalescent rodents born out of wedlock.) However, if I’m reading between the lines correctly, pressure by hard-liners forced some of Khrushchev’s douchebag moments.
Things came to a head when NATO deployed missiles in Turkey. They were considered obsolete, but hey, they were still nukes. Understandably, parking them right next door to the USSR was seen as a provocation. Khrushchev had to make a countermove, or seriously lose face both internationally and with the hard-liners. One thing led to another, and we got the Cuban Missile Crisis. In the aftermath, the hard-liners deposed him, because they were disappointed that he decided pushing the button just wasn’t worth it. He went into forced retirement, suffering chronic depression because of the fall from grace. (If I’m in the same area code as him during the afterlife, I’ll buy Comrade Nikita a beer for not destroying the world.) So both sides backed down from the apocalypse. However, since then, we got spit-in-your-eye wars, a crazy arms race until well into the 1980s, and many other fine messes.
So that’s how things really went down in history. What if all that trouble had been avoided instead? The following can be pieced together from the novel, but listing it here might clarify things for the reader to better understand the fictional “past future”:
Khrushchev neutralizes his opposition with extreme prejudice
He and gets to run things his way, and perestroika style reforms take effect
Those familiar with my writings at ROK are likely familiar with my extensive post-mortems on how society became today’s absolute wasteland. From my imagined author’s perspective in 1958, I have no idea that any of this will go down in the years to come. However, as far as alternate history goes, things could’ve been better yet if diplomacy had prevailed and prevented the Civil War and both World Wars, to the great disappointment of banksters wishing to profiteer from bloodshed. By contrast, a brief glimpse of the real 1978 seems grimy and depressing, full of malaise.
As for the imagined 1978, society is like a technologically spiffier version of the “author’s” world… so freaking normal that it hurts. Things are pretty peachy, actually – other than extraterrestrials being major douchebags.
The cultural flavor
This captures the spirit of the times and its attitudes. It should be remembered that things were a little different in 1958. A time traveler from back then visiting the present might think he’d found himself in The Twilight Zone. He might even consider Tito’s Yugoslavia better in some ways than our present-day globohomo police state.
Aside from that, there’s a quirky fusion of actual 1978 elements as well. Things were a bit tacky back in the day; if you’re an old fogey like me, you’ll remember. For instance:
The redhead smirked and turned to the boys. “Speaking of food, we were about to serve breakfast. If you get to the mess hall quickly, you can enjoy your last meal before the reactor explodes. Bon appétit.”
Biff stripped off his shirt, revealing his chiseled torso, and gave her his best bedroom eyes. “I’d rather enjoy you, Fire-Crotch. Let us on board, and I’ll go down on that strawberry patch like a crop duster, ’till your toes curl right good. Then I’ll tune your engine like never before. After you been with me, you’ll see that every night’s good for making sweet love. I’ll ring your bell ’till you cain’t take it no more.”
The Battle Commander couldn’t help giving the jock’s muscular frame one more glance, from the upper trapezius and deltoids, down to his eight-pack rectus abdominus. Then she trembled with indecision. A conflicted expression crossed her face, a mixture of pique, lust, and guilt. She whimpered, “You fiend!” Then the redhead slammed the door shut and ran for the ship preparing to depart, lest she be tempted again.
The jock sighed, after narrowly failing to corrupt the morals of someone who in ancient times would’ve been called one of the Nephilim, Annunaki, or lilitu-demons. “Welp, close, but no seegar! Too bad it was all so rushed, and came down to a long-shot field goal attempt in the fourth down. Dang-nabbit, if only I’d had the time to talk her up right proper…”
If that sounds just like a dreadfully cheesy 1970s movie, you get the picture. Austin Powers is a good send-up of the approximate era. An actual 1978 film which is both cheesy and outstanding is the classic comedy Foul Play. (Goldie Hawn for the win! It’s also an interesting glimpse of San Francisco before the tech boom kicked into high gear.) Interpreting some of the dialogue that way will help get the flavor across. As usual for the SVT series, I was shooting for a “so bad that it’s good” effect.
The political angle
There’s also much social and political commentary, delivered with laser-guided irony. That includes more than a few shots at leftist dogma, globalism, plutocracy, and all that. This, including some other elements, gets remarkably politically incorrect. Normally I tone it down a bit with my SVT books, but here I’m letting it all hang out.
I mention this so that readers know what they’re getting themselves into. For example, if you consider the Alt Right to be a bunch of scary extremists, you might not like it. If you believe that Hillary Clinton is the reincarnation of Joan of Arc, this will give you a case of the vapors. If you use the phrase “Check your privilege!” in your daily vocabulary, this will cause spontaneous self-combustion. However, if you’re not too ideological (or can take a joke), then you’ll probably get into it. If you dig cats like Mosley, Pound, Codreanu, Céline, Evola, and Raspail, and you like off-the-wall humor too, then it’s definitely for you.
Now I’ve really done it! I’ll probably get a fatwa over my ROK article about how globalists might contain radical Islam by ruining the Arab world with cultural Marxism. Indeed, I might get my head cut off on TV by Muslim fruit loops for the cover image, which made the Ka’aba – their most sacred shrine – look like a big gay bar. (Islamists just can’t take a joke.) However, if I don’t get whacked first by exemplars of the “religion of peace”, I’m sure to get on some other hit lists over SVT17. If anyone wants to rub me out, I’ll give you the perfect opportunity. I’ll be selling autographed copies all day in front of the Pleasantville, Nebraska public library on November 31. See you at the book depository!
Despite the biting satire, this one provides more nuance than before. Now, some of the aliens are well-developed characters. In my previous SVT titles, they’re just evil because they’re evil, even sometimes pointing it out nonchalantly. SVT17 provides a closer look at one of these sneaky spacefaring civilizations, including their quirks and motivations. Although they’re certainly up to no good, neither are they beyond redemption. If they can get with the program about cooperation and reciprocity, it would do wonders for their reputation and public relations.
You know you want it
For reasons stated earlier, this one is an Amazon exclusive, at least presently. That means that if you’re on their Kindle subscription, you can read this for free. Or, anyone can purchase the ebook. A paperback version available too.
Declining unreasonable “requests” is something we all have to do occasionally. In fact, it’s more or less a survival skill. Unfortunately, it can be a stressful process, even though it shouldn’t be. Hasn’t everyone been pressured to do things they didn’t want to do while under no obligation?
For some of us, this happens much too often. Sometimes politeness and subtlety don’t work, especially when dealing with people having an elevated entitlement complex. Therefore, proper technique saves time and aggravation.
The un-subtle art of refusal
Enforcing normal boundaries is right and proper. However, sometimes social expectations pressure us not to do so. Basically, you’re a big meanie if you say no to anything.
My native part of Flyover Country tends to be so polite that it hurts. For example, if someone offers you food, you have to decline twice. The third time you’re asked, you give the real answer: “Sure, I’d like some” or “No, I’m really not hungry”. On the other hand, if someone does you wrong, you’re not supposed to call out the bad behavior, even if it’s pretty horrid. If you do so anyway, then you’re the one with the problem. “How dare you be so unforgiving?” and all that crap. We got a bit of Jante Law too. Despite all the civility, pettiness flourishes.
Certain cultures in East and Southeast Asia have this reputation too (quite unlike pushiness common in parts of South Asia). Someone might say “yes” but mean “no”. When whoever expressed agreement to do something doesn’t follow through, confusion results from that. It’s especially so when a gaijin doesn’t understand how this works. I don’t know how it works either, other than an ambiguous answer like “it might be possible” is usually an actual “no”. Consider it similar to “I’ll get around to it” or “I’ll take it under advisement”.
Similar excessive politeness seems common in WASP society too. I suspect this, like the Flyover Country version, results from misapplied Protestant theology. Personally and (even worse) societally, this pressures us to let ourselves be played for chumps. Well, to hell with that! I’ve had to work hard to break my early Nice Guy programming.
People from New Jersey, on the other hand, have the reputation of being brusque. Still, there’s certainly something to be said for straight answers! The following lesson comes directly from the venerable college of Whatsamatta U.
Personal impositions can take many forms. Here are some fairly audacious ones:
Your flaky “friend” is short on his upcoming rent payment, so he wants to “borrow” two hundred bucks.
The chick who Friend Zoned you asks you to babysit her kid so she can go on a hot date with Chad Thundercock. I’ve heard that’s a hazard of trying to date single moms.
“But my dog will slobber all over your face when you’re trying to sleep.”
“Well, I’m also pretty low on cash right now.”
“I’m afraid that I have a prior commitment that evening.”
The reply will be:
“But you’re my brother!
“But we’re friends!”
“But we’re such great, wonderful, awesome friennnnds!”
That will begin a long guilt-fest until you scream in frustration, or submit. You might be tempted to reply with something more to the point:
Tell your dope fiend brother he shouldn’t have alienated all his friends who let him couch-surf before. Alternatively, give him brochures for inpatient rehab facilities; they have beds!
Tell your “friend” he should’ve paid the rent before replenishing his weed supply. Alternatively, start reciting the John Galt speech from Atlas Shrugged.
Suggest that she hire a babysitter while she tries to get herself pregnant all over again, or maybe the biological father can get acquainted with his own spawn for one evening. Alternatively, ask her why she had a child out of wedlock if she couldn’t take care of the kid by herself.
Even then, you’ll be answered by weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. Cue the squeaky violin music…
Again, those examples are pretty extreme. Real-life situations might not be as bad. Before agreeing to go far out of your way to accommodate someone, ask yourself the following:
Is the request reasonable?
Am I obligated?
Would this person do the same thing for me?
Well, there’s your answer.
Don’t waste your breath
Flakes will likely ignore practical suggestions. Explaining how they created their personal hell will launch a tantrum like a kindergartener going cold turkey from ADD meds. Really, they already should’ve had that little epiphany. They should fix their own messes, which they should’ve figured out by the time they stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy. (Hopefully they’re past that point.) Granted, there’s much to be said for calling people out on their bullshit. Still, the main point is that your answer is no.
Any further discussion might give them the idea that it’s negotiable. So the woeful entreaties will begin, followed by pushiness and continuing to buffalo you. However, there’s no point in discussing unreasonable demands in the first place. Really, why argue? Worse, they might convince you to waffle. If you cave in, expect an escalating string of future impositions accompanied by increasing ingratitude. Never reward bad behavior!
So at this point, a frame battle is a waste of time. Not putting your foot down right in the beginning is a tactical mistake. Let’s make this much quicker, shall we?
Refusal in four easy steps
The following came from the syllabus of the Gedoudaheah 101 course at whatsamattau.nj.edu—enjoy!
Refusal 1: “Fuck no!”
Now that’s direct and to the point, right? The “shock and awe” approach should convey, with all due respect (as in none), that you’re not interested. If the flake can’t take a hint, then move onto the next step.
Refusal 2: “Fuck that!”
So apparently the flake has a hearing problem, or Is a slow learner. You might get begging or negotiation attempts. Nope, it’s not up for discussion, so cut it short with “Fuck that!” If it still hasn’t sunk into the flake’s thick skull, then ratchet it up further yet.
Refusal 3: “Fuck off!”
Your fair warning was disregarded, so now you’re making it personal. Your sharp rebuke will give something to think about before doing that again. It’s the same basic classic conditioning useful to train your dog. Humans have the same neural wiring that your slobbery critter does, just a more sophisticated version (at least with most people). However, if the flake still doesn’t get the point, then move onto the final step.
Refusal 4: “Fuck you!”
Those will be your very last words as you terminate the conversation. Well, that wasn’t very nice of you, now was it? Still—so what? This should be expected by anyone who repeatedly tries to overstep your boundaries. Flakes might get pouty and maybe even threaten to cut you out of their lives. At that point, it’s likely no great loss.
So there it is. You’ve preserved your dignity and demonstrated that you refuse to be played for a chump.
The original post has been taken down, for obvious reasons. (I have no idea if the user got banned for writing it, but that wouldn’t surprise me.) It highlights an important problem, but instead of allowing a dialogue on how to fix it, let’s shoot the messenger instead, shall we? One of the archive sites indexed it, but it didn’t upload correctly, so I’m reposting the text here.
My own thoughts are that it’s quite unfortunate that the witch hunt has come to this. The further this goes, the more that working women will be in a difficult situation, and I wish things were different. Still, the point the author makes is compelling: a boss will be quite reluctant to hire someone who can turn flimsy, unfounded charges into a costly lawsuit which will destroy the business.
Feminists can curse the original author all they want – or me for defying censorship and reposting it. However, the fact remains that working women are collateral damage of the witch hunt that the feminists themselves promoted.
All that said, the original item follows verbatim.
Congratulations #Metoo…You’ve Made Women Employees Radioactive
Published on June 10, 2018
As a corporate CEO I now have a fiducial duty to avoid hiring women
I was having lunch the other day with my group of fellow CEOs…some current and some former. I asked the question: “Well, who has gotten that visit from the corporate lawyer, advising you to avoid hiring women executives”. Every one in the group groaned and looked away. The message was clear. They had ALL gotten that visit.
As a corporate CEO, I have an fiduciary and moral obligation to my employees, NOT to do something stupid that will destroy the company and throw them out into a very hard and dangerous world. The streets of Silicon Valley are full of RVs and campers with homeless former engineers and former managers, many with no health insurance. I am obligated by law and by custom not to add my people to that list.
That’s why I can’t hire women.
Even before #Metoo, hiring women came with a significant risk. I’ve seen several small companies wiped out by some angry ex-employee claiming some sort of sexual harassment. In each and every case, the company leaders honestly tried to prevent the problem, but were wiped out anyway. “$150K just to walk in the front door” says any law firm. That’s enough to destroy most startups.
As a CEO I have a legal obligation to avoid risk. Because of #Mettoo, women walk in the door with the metaphorical equivalent of a suicide bomb strapped to their back. The slightest wrong move, the slightest insult, and BANG. Everybody is dead.
In the past it was just a few women who had this tendency to use lawsuits to destroy. Now in the era of #Metoo, it has become fashionable. Even the not-so-bright receptionist I hire as a temp is on the lookout for her moment of perceived fame.
As a CEO there is absolutely nothing I can do to prevent a clash, when women are so eager to take offense. Human sexuality is wired into every man and women. Even if I install webcams and watch every single second of every interaction, having training classes, and instill fear in my male employees, there will inevitably be some action that some man will take, maybe on purpose, maybe accidentally, that will cause some woman to take offense and sue. I am unable to prevent it, just as I can’t prevent someone from passing gas after lunch.
Litigation is the business equivalent of nuclear war. It only destroys. Now every woman walking into my HR department is carrying a nuclear launch button on her sleeve, and is being goaded by their friends to USE IT! Every other employee in that company — male and female — has a mortgage and family expenses, and is looking with fear at that new female hire.
This is what generals call an “asymmetric threat”. I have zero control, almost no preventative measures, and huge, deadly risk.
That leaves me and other smart CEOs with only one solution: stop hiring women. And that is what’s happening, quickly or slowly, at every small startup all over the country. Will we be sued for not hiring women? Nope. Hard to prove. Penalties actually quite unlikely.
To my granddaughters who are just entering the workforce, and to the many wonderful women who long ago learned to ignore male clumsiness and just get the job done — I can only say how sorry and sad I am to see this. Unfortunately, you women have been betrayed by a group of radical women who are, to put it bluntly, fools. They are dragging you into a conflict which will leave you burned and the men in your lives burned. Everyone will get burned except the lawyers and the activists who will, as always, sit back and profit from the war they created.
Maybe there will be comments from women telling me “I don’t get it” or “You’ll get sued.” Um, no. I get it just fine. I’m just speaking a harsh truth, that people don’t like. Listen.