In Iran’s holy city of Qom, once the fave hangout of that jolly old fellow Ayatollah Khomeini, a cure has been developed for the new COVID19 coronavirus. This is just in time, since it’s now spreading throughout the world and has the potential of becoming a new plague. Medical professionals are scrambling to confront this.
For Iran, however, that simply will not do. An Alaraby article goes into their unique approach:
Users on Twitter describe how the Ayatollah Tabrizian has publicly denounced Western medicine as “un-Islamic”.
That’s hardly a surprise. According to Iran’s ruling class, everything is un-Islamic. They even think that Barack Obama isn’t a real Muslim.
The good news, of course, is their new coronavirus treatment protocol. Three cheers for Iran then! The article goes into some specifics:
According to an Iranian news site, which obtained a screenshot of the message, Tabrizian recommends consuming copious amounts of brown sugar, burning wild rue, as well as inhaling snuff.
I wonder if they have oatmeal in Iran? I have a weakness for that stuff, especially with lots of butter and brown sugar. Well, maybe not; they probably think oatmeal is un-Islamic too. I bet smiling is considered a dark heresy over there.
His eighth tip is the most striking: “Before bedtime, drench some cotton in violet oil and apply onto your anus”
Will this turn your butt lavender? If so, it’s a small price to pay for curing that nasty case of coronavirus. As a bonus, you’ll get promoted to middle management, because after that, your Shi’ite doesn’t stink. That’s something to think about next time you visit the Ayatoilet.