Will wonders never cease? The following is a bit hard to read, but it’s a stand with a sign, “Target is proud to support GLSEN with a $100,000 donation to help their mission of creating safe and affirming schools for all.” On sale is a rack full of shampoo and conditioner by OGX, and mouthwash by Listerine. The bottles are all in rainbow colors, to make sure everyone gets the point that they’re in solidarity with the 175ers. So those corporations too are in on the publicity stunt.
Okay, do gays have bad breath? It happens, especially if the hors d’oeuvres at those Oscars parties include salmon and bitty onions on top of a baguette slice with garlic butter. Do straights have bad breath? It happens too.
Do gays have hair that needs grooming? Yes, and actually they do a pretty good job of it already. Some lesbians have so little hair that a common bar of soap will work, though not all pearl divers get coiffed by gardening tools. Do straights have hair that needs grooming? Likewise, that happens too.
More seriously now
What the heck is GLSEN? Well, I guess I could look it up, but Target already provided a description. According to that, it has something to do with “creating safe and affirming schools for all”. There’s no need to read too deeply between the lines; I’ve heard all that stuff before.
Look, I know how capitalist economics works. Target’s CEO probably didn’t cut them a $100K check out of his personal bank account. Much more likely, that comes out of corporate profits. Also, they’re not dumb enough to take a hit to the balance sheet over some donation, so how do they get the dough? They do so by nudging up the prices a bit.
I happen to have long hair, so I need more shampoo and conditioner than the average guy. Since I’m a lesbian, and I’m the type who doesn’t get my golden tresses chopped by a weed whacker, I should be delighted about Target’s virtue signaling, right? Nah, I don’t think I want politics in my hair product, or my mouthwash for that matter. I’ll shop somewhere else, thank you very much.
Hey, CEOs, do you really think this stuff makes you righteous? Well, take some advice from Jesus then. To paraphrase broadly, He said don’t proclaim your righteousness in the street where everyone notices you. Instead, go pray in a closet. The point is that by doing so privately, then God will understand then that it’s sincere.
Don’t believe in any of that stuff? Okay, that’s cool; let me translate this to secular Current Year terms. Instead of raising prices to pay for a symbolic publicity stunt, I have a better idea. I’ll tell you to sell a Hummer or other luxury car – you have two more in your mansion’s garage, don’t you? Then, give the proceeds to one of these outfits so that they can pay their foundation staffers to push papers and spread social justice propaganda, or anything other than work real jobs and contribute to the economy. The point is that by doing so privately,then cynics like me will understand that you’re silly enough to believe your own nonsense.