Men supporting feminism and its goals are nothing new. Actually, they’ve been instrumental to its success. If we had refused instead, then feminism never would’ve gotten off of the ground floor.
To name just one example, it was men who granted women’s suffrage. That’s right; if our forefathers hadn’t approved, then women wouldn’t have been granted the right to vote. In the USA, this was 99 years ago (and earlier in several states), but “The Patriarchy” graciously decided that it was time to let women join the club. Ladies, you’re welcome.
Unfortunately, when feminism went straight off the deep end beginning in the 1950s and gaining critical mass in the 1960s, they still could count on the support of large numbers of men willing to help implement their Agenda. In fact, they were instrumental: politicians, media figures, judges, etc.
So you want to be a male feminist…
Much more recently, there’s a lot of rhetoric instructing male feminist allies on what they must do and how they must behave. If you search online, you’ll find dozens of articles about the subject, from HuffPo to far more obscure venues. I’ll pick one of the better ones. The following is from Everyday Feminism called “30 Ways To Be a Better Ally in 2015“. I’ll extract the headings, redacting the commentary:
- Listen More
- Talk Less
- Look to Amplify Rather than Overshadow
- Strive to Use More Inclusive Language
- Be Careful with Pronoun Use
- Engage More People Who Share Your Identity
- Don’t Think You’re ‘Holier Than’ Those Who Share Your Identity
- Cite Your Sources
- Self-Reflect More
- Interrogate Why You’re Striving to Be an Ally
- Work to Check Your Subconscious or Semi-Conscious Behaviors
- Make ‘Being an Ally’ an Action
- Recognize That Yes, You’re Going to Do it Wrong
- Apologize without Caveats
- Give More
- Fill in Supportive Roles
- Step Out of the Spotlight
- Show Up
- Refer to Those with Whom You Want to Be in Solidarity
- Consider Your Impacts Rather Than Your Intentions
- Don’t Expect Kudos or Thanks
- Diversify Your Media Consumption
- Seek and Build Diverse Community
- Consider Who’s Listening When You Speak Up
- Remember That the Moment You Decide You’re Not Part of the Problem, You Are
- Think Creatively About How to Bring in More People from Your Identity
- Lean on Other Allies
- Offer More Emotional Support
- Expand the Scope of Your Allyship
- Practice Self-Care
Only the last item suggests that the ally has any personal needs, but the point is that you have to take care of yourself so that you can still support “anti-oppression work”. Even robots need to recharge their batteries sometimes, right?
Whew! I thought I was reading the Social Justice Warrior version of the Rule of Saint Benedict. I have, in fact, read the medieval playbook on how to be a Benedictine monk. Singing, brewing beer, and making cheese is a lot more appealing to me than being a male feminist. If I had to choose between two lifestyles involving self-flagellation and never getting laid, then definitely I would pick the one where I retain my dignity and don’t end up in hell.
More seriously, I’ll have to credit the male feminist author for one thing. Unlike several other articles on that subject, it wasn’t snotty. The other ones point out generally the same things, though often in a very haughty manner, as if to show the lapdogs who is boss. (Who the hell are they to badger their own supporters like that?) Here are the common themes.
If you’re a feminist ally, you have to shut up, or at least guard your words exceedingly carefully, practically walking on eggshells. Agree subserviently with anything they say. Contradicting The Narrative in any way, like trying to argue a more moderate perspective, is a big no-no. You must contribute your efforts unendingly and without recognition or any other reward for yourself. (There’s a term for this: pathological altruism.) You must question your motives, and remember that being male means you’re under a cloud of suspicion. Moreover, you constantly must acknowledge that you’re a recipient of unearned privilege. This “original sin” makes you a very bad person, and you must spend the rest of your life atoning for it.
Put on that hair shirt now, sinner, and check your privilege! (What kind of a screwy cult is this?) I’m hardly exaggerating. Here’s the commentary for item 25, “Remember That the Moment You Decide You’re Not Part of the Problem, You Are”:
Too often, “allies” decide that we have it all figured out, that we are not contributing to White supremacy or classism or another form of oppression.
The moment that we decide this, we are, in fact, the very essence of the problem, as our unexamined privilege has the potential to do great damage to individuals or movements.
This browbeating is rather mild compared to some of the other articles which drip with condescension toward their useful idiots. (I haven’t looked at all of them, but it wouldn’t surprise me much if some of them instructed their allies to cut off their balls.) No self-respecting man should even think about submitting to the constant mental abuse that these feminist allies are expected to endure. This is pathetic. It’s little wonder Social Justice Warriors are so screwed up!
I will check my privilege right now
As I wrote in Deplorable Diatribes:
[T]he following is a brief summary of the radical feminist Agenda:
- Pursuing maximal social advantages, economic benefits, prestige, convenience, and other perks for women, whether great or trifling;
- Retaining preferential treatment granted earlier (despite how much they’ve complained bitterly about traditional society);
- Reducing the status of men (constant disparagement, siphoning off their resources, encouraging disrespect, and so forth);
- Seeking accommodations to minimize consequences of any destructive choices women might make (which usually happens from rejecting traditionalist values);
- Using one-sided rhetoric about female powerlessness and victimhood as well as male omnipotence and villainy, which is for purposes of justifying these unlimited demands for preferential treatment; and
- After new concessions are granted, making more demands ad infinitum.
Later, I described how the radical feminist agenda, rather paradoxically, has had some very bad results for women themselves. Moreover, the truth is that modern women in Western societies already have it pretty good. In fact, they’re the most pampered and spoiled generation of women to walk the planet. Implementing equality between the sexes actually would mean a big step down from their pedestal.
Now ask yourself, is it rational for men to support any of this, or worse, dedicate their lives toward advancing that self-serving script? Later I conclude:
Pretending to be an equality movement, while pushing for maximal advantages at the expense of men, is a prime example of moral crypsis. Fortunately, the feminist empowerment script is remarkably easy to deconstruct. The following is a USA-specific list of privileges granted by the government, which I’ve limited to the major items. Note well, it doesn’t even get into what private organizations offer to women only. Neither does it include the giant grab-bag of countless informal benefits, perks, emoluments, freebies, and other goodies from society.
Legally sanctioned rights and entitlements for females:
- Unfair divorce laws that usually rob the ex-husband in court and take away his children;
- Opting out of parenthood unilaterally with abortion;
- Taxpayer-funded programs benefiting single mothers (like AFDC and WIC);
- Affirmative Action preferential hiring practices for women;
- Government contract set-asides for women-owned businesses;
- Educational initiatives for girls and women only;
- Other female-only government programs;
- Exemption from draft registration and conscription;
- Lenient criminal sentencing (not de jure, but certainly de facto);
- Etc., etc., etc.
Legally sanctioned rights and entitlements for males:
Men don’t benefit from all this; we just get to pay for the greater part of the goodies listed above. What was this patriarchy the feminists were talking about again? Note well, generally men don’t mind helping women, but it gets a little annoying if we’re coerced into doing so, or if it turns out to be a sucker deal. Also, would a little gratitude and appreciation really be too much to ask?
Don’t be a useful idiot
To wrap up here, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: if you’re a male feminist, then you’re like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders. Stop supporting these ingrates, letting them browbeat you, or helping to advance their rotten Agenda.